Channelers and the Men Who Love Them; S1 E1 Stupid Girl

Channelers and the Men Who Love Them

Episode One – Stupid Girl

Thom still remembered when Rand told him the news. Mat. Moiraine. Married. No one knew why those two would decide to get married, let alone to each other. The couple themselves were no help in shedding light on the whole situation. And although most thought they were “cute” together, Thom did not. It wasn’t that he was jealous, just that he was…okay he was jealous. But how could he not be when Mat took every opportunity to tell him about his and Moiraine’s “actives”? No matter how much Thom wanted to knock Mat down for yet again describing Moiraine sans clothes, it wasn’t enough for him to want to kill the boy.

“But why not?”

Hiding a sigh as a yawn, Thom studied Elaida Sedai. She reminded him of a rat with her constantly licking her lips and flighty eyes. “Because as annoying as he is I still like him.”

“I’ll pardon you. You can perform in Camlyen without fear of the headman’s axe.”

“Light, wo…ah, Aes Sedai. Do you want him dead that bad? I’m sorry, but I promised myself to stay out of Aes Sedai affairs. Good-day to you.”


When Elaida arrived back at her rooms she found Nynaeve pacing the sitting room. Muffling an oath, she calmly poured herself tea and sat in overstuffed chair.

“Where where you? I’ve been waiting since mid-morning!”

“I was…shopping,” Elaida replied. It would be easier to lie if not for that stupid oath.

“Shopping? For what? I see no shopping bags on your arms.”

“Eh, well, when I say ‘shopping’ I mean ‘window shopping’. I was investigating future prospects.

Nynaeve froze and stared at Elaida. “Really? You mean you’ve changed your mind about settling down? Oh, Ellie, I love you!”

Elaida found herself buried under Nynaeve’s kisses.


“Like white chocolate mounds topped with pink candies. Ooo, that’s good!” Mat hurriedly wrote down his latest ode. He didn’t particularly enjoy writing but the reactions his poems got from Thom made it seem worth it. And truth be told finding new ways to describe his wife naked was rather fun. Wife. That word still felt weird on his tongue. But the woman behind the word didn’t. Ooo, he should write that down!

Mat looked down at the page of parchment. The top half of it was filled with poetry about Moiraine. The bottom was covered with drawing of different…positions. Perhaps it was time to re-bond with his wife.


Moiraine unfolded the letter and read it again for what seemed the hundredth time. This was the tenth love letter her secret admirer had sent her in three days time. They were all filled to the brim with fluffy mush. The kind of thing no respecting Aes Sedai would admit to liking.

“I watch you walk with longing and regret that we can’t be together?! Who wrote that?” Mat demanded.

“I don’t know. That’s why they’re called secret admirers. Because their identities are secret. Why does it matter anyway?”

Blood rushed to Mat’s cheeks. Moiraine had to admit he was cute when he got jealous. “Why does it matter?! Because you’re my wife and I don’t like other people looking at you like I do.”

“Well I can’t help it if I’m so damn beautiful.”

“Just for that I’m not showing you the new positions I came up with!” Mat shouted as he stormed out ignoring Moiraine’s tears.


“Never thought I’d get out of there,” Elaida muttered as she left the inn. That stupid Wisdom thought she wanted to get married. She had spent the whole night talking about eloping. Elaida stopped walking when the sound of sobbing came suddenly to her ears. Seeking the source she found none other than Moiraine weeping on a bench.

Elaida sat down next to the little Blue, who watched her with tear filled eyes. “What’s wrong, dear?”

“Mat yelled at me.”

“He did? That big meanie. If you were my wife I would never yell at you.”

Moiraine raised an eyebrow. “Why are you stroking my hair?”

“Oh, sorry. Would you prefer I stroke lower?”

Moiraine stood up quickly. “I, eh, think I better go back to the inn now.”

Elaida watched Moiraine run away and shook her head. “Stupid girl.”

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