Channelers and the Men Who Love Them: Season Two
Episode One – Forget the Reasons
“I can’t believe this is happening! How can this be happening?! This isn’t happening! This isn’t happening!”
“Light, woman, shut up!”
Elaida ignored her, as usual, and continued her bemoaning. Siuan couldn’t be sure, but it seemed the Red had lost the small bit of sanity she possessed. The Aes Sedai guarding them seemed to pay no heed to Elaida’s constant whining and occasional giggle fits, but it was enough to make Siuan grateful for her own death sentence.
“Siuan? Siuan are you asleep? I don’t hear you snoring. Siuan? Siuan, please answer me! Siuan?!”
“Oh for the love of humanity, what do you want?”
“I want to get out of here! Surely you’ve come up with a plan?”
“Elaida, we are both locked in a cell with three Aes Sedai guarding us each. Our cells are in the pit of the bloody White Tower in the middle of bloody Tar Valon. Unless you can find a way to Travel while shielded, I think we’re as good as dead.”
“This isn’t happening! This isn’t happening!”
“Hey that’s my line!”
Egwene briefly glanced at Jasin Natael before continuing. “You’re suppose to be dead. Siuan and Elaida are going to hang for killing you!”
Nynaeve simply sniffed and stared at her.
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
“No?! You fake your own death, cause me to have to order the execution of two Aes Sedai, show up one day before said execution alive and well and with lover in tow…. And you have nothing to say?!”
“He is not my lover!”
“She is not my lover! The great Asmodean would not sleep with a common ‘Aes Sedai’ such as this!”
“You’re claiming to be a Forsaken? You’re nothing more than a half-decent gleeman.”
“Half…decent? Half-decent! My Bond Mistress will make you take back those words!”
“Your Bond Mistress? Another fantasy of yours, Jasin Natael.”
Jasin, oh no wait Asmodean, made a grand show of flicking his cloak over his shoulder. “Cadsuane is indeed a fantasy in bed, and…can we pretend I didn’t just tell you that?”
Cadsuane was bored. Her and Rand had camped out a spot to watch what was to be an epic battle between the Andoran and Cairhienin forces. But alas, there was nothing epic about it. The Andorans were running around like scared children, while the Cairhienins pummeled them with dragons’ eggs, arrows, and the occasional fruit. That last seemed a bit mean to Cadsuane. All in all it was highly disappointing.
“Oh look, Caddy! Elayne is retreating!”
“It’s over? That ‘war’ wasn’t even a full two hours!”
“Who do you think won? Don’t roll your eyes at me! Maybe Elayne is just going to regroup.”
“A third of her army is dead, another third has abandoned the fight, and the last third is running around like headless chickens. Are you blind?!”
Surprisingly, Rand’s eyes filled with tears. “You know my eyesight has never been the same since…since that day! Is that why you have another lover? A lover w-w-with good eyes and two hands, I bet! I have never cheated on you, a-a-and you do this to me! ME! Rand al’Thor!”
“Cheated on me? For the last time, we are not lovers!”
“Then how did we have a child? You can’t deny Kaitlin!”
“No, I can’t, and I wouldn’t. That was a result of me acting out my natural Green tendencies.”
“And what are those?!”
“Why, to make love to semi-attractive men.”
Rand’s sobbing abruptly stopped. “You think I’m pretty?”
Moiraine felt she might die of shock and horror: The Houses of Andor had simply decided they would give her Andor.
“What is with you people? You can’t just hand over nations like this!”
“We don’t want to go through another Succession, your Highness,” the man who spoke reminded her of a bloated red frog.
“Well, that’s the price you pay for your stupid customs. What am I to do with Andor? I have my plate full with Cairhien.”
A young, slightly ugly woman stepped forward. There was a strange glint in her eyes, and Moiraine suddenly wished to be gone. “You have done wonders for Cairhien in such a short time, I’m sure you will return Andor to greatness as well!”
There was no hope; Moiraine saw that now. She wanted to cry.
Sulamein so Bhagad, chief historian at the newly established Court of the Sun, was busy writing down all that had recently happened. It was all terribly exciting! True, it was all a bit unbelievable, but that would only make his book that much more likely to sell.