Moiraine and her Young Bull

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

 

"Moiraine Damodred," a man in a dark blue coat over a simple traveling clothes said to himself while looking at the shining and beautiful white spire which is the infamous White Tower. The man who continuously looks at the tower housing not greater than two hundred Aes Sedai - females who can channel the one power - cannot seem to prevent himself from smiling despite the fact that in a few minutes he would be entering the place no man would dare enter, a place even the Dragon Reborn would avoid.

 

"You're a fool to go there. Come on! You can still turn your back now. Do it before it's too late," the man is trying to tell himself. "There's no point going in there just to see a woman who wouldn't even look at you twice. A woman - if not for her ageless face - could be your mother for Light's sake!"

 

The man tried to compose himself by means of squaring his shoulders - shoulders that had grown due to their relentless hours at the forge - and at the same time tried to avoid people walking ahead or beside him or even those he could meet along the way. He tried to avoid talk as much as possible. Yes, he knows, a man barely in his twenty-first naming day would not cause too much talk in this great city of Tar Valon. But still, it wouldn't hurt if he would avoid further, unwanted, notice. Especially if the man walking towards the White Tower is a friend of the Dragon Reborn. Especially if the man is in love with an Aes Sedai. And if the man walking towards the tower has yellow eyes.

 

"Yellow eyes," he told himself. People from the Two Rivers up to the northern boundaries of Andor know him as 'Perrin Goldeneyes', a man who had lead them to battle, a man who helped the Two Rivers folk defeat the trollocs trying to erase them from the history of this age. A man who - among all these stupid and damned adventures - seem to see a certain Aes Sedai wherever he looks.

 

"Excuse me young man! Please! Everyone is waiting to get through the gates! We need to get through before the sun sets or we'll have to wait for the Amyrlin to take notice of our needs for another day again!" shouted by a woman somewhere at the end of the line.

 

Peering through the end of the line and inhaling the scent of those waiting in line 'Perrin Goldeneyes' tried to determine who spoke those words when suddenly someone grabbed his arm and said, "Yellow eyes? You are Perrin Goldeneyes?! The Friend of the Dragon Reborn!"

 

Gruffly removing the gnarled hands that grabbed him he said, "Excuse me, I need to head straight. The people, the line . . . everyone needs to get moving. I need to get moving. Excuse me," after saying those words he entered the gates of the tower grounds while controlling himself from cursing the light for his accursed eyes and his destiny which had always been tied to Rand al'Thor and Matrim Cauthon - and with her.

 

"Wherever I go I always end up with her. No matter how hard I run, no matter how much I force myself to love someone else - I will always go back to those beautiful eyes. Always," Perrin said to himself while walking the smooth paths that crisscrossed the tower grounds. Looking around, he cannot help but get fascinated by what he sees. People, servants, women - Novices and Accepted alike - training under the tower's guidance walking as if they have important matters to deal with, and men - young and old alike - walking with a warder's deadly gait.

 

He had been looking into these throngs of busy people when suddenly a hand touched the hem of his cloak. Looking around he saw a woman wearing a white dress which some of those women are wearing as well, "A novice," he thought. Giving the young woman a smile, he asked, "Yes?"

 

The woman's brown tilted eyes widened when she saw Perrin's yellow eyes. When he's about to ask the same question again, the Novice seems to push herself back to perfect calm - although she failed at it because what she managed to show to Perrin is not calmness but rigidity related to nervousness caused by anxiety - and smooth Aes Sedai-like expression, "So much like her when it comes to schooling her emotions - Aes Sedai calm. So much like her but still, not her," Perrin sighed.

 

"Lord Perrin Aybara of The Two Rivers, if you may follow me to your room?" the Novice asked while trying to lead him to the eastern portion of the whole Tower grounds - being lead about and pushed about like a cattle. Giving himself a shake, he followed the Novice along the place, making turns from time to time, "From time to time? She turns from one corner to another as often as the Winespring Inn's clock ticks," he thought.

 

"We're almost there Lord Perrin," the Novice said which brought Perrin back to where he is, "At the end of this hallway, at your right is the room where you could rest until the Amyrlin can see to your problems," the Novice continued.

 

"Wait!" Perrin said when the Novice gave him a curtsy and when she took a step back to where they just came from. Looking at her with eyes questioning him, Perrin continued, "Wait. Aren't you going to show me the right room. I could enter the wrong room for all I know - your tower, it has a lot of doors that I could easily get lost. And loosing my way is not of the best idea I have in mind. If you . . ." Perrin trailed off as the face of the novice turned from a face conveying wonder into a face of annoyance and indignation.

 

"Lord Perrin, much as I want to assist you, I was ordered by Lelaine Sedai to assist you until here and here only. It is uncommon for the tower to have male petitioners - although we do have them from time to time - thus, your arrival in the White Tower caused too much talk already. And Novices are all but eyeing for you - although that doesn't include me Lord Perrin. But still. Besides, it's not proper for a Novice to show male petitioners the way to their own rooms for it could mean something else for watchful eyes," the Novice told him.

 

Perrin couldn't help but looked stunned at what the Novice is saying - implying! - about his question. As if trying to save himself, he quickly said, "Sorry if I had been disrespectful. I didn't mean to offend your ways here. But you see, I don't know your ways. I am oblivious of what you can and cannot do. I didn't mean to offend. Again. I'm sorry. So, I'll go on my own now. I guess, and thank you for that bit of information - it would help, I think," giving the Novice a curt bow, he headed to his room without even a backward glance at the Novice, but he could sense - feel - as if it's an itch, that the Novice is watching him with amusement.

 

"Women! Gaul is right! I could never understand them! Much more an Aes Sedai!"

 

Clutching his rich curly hair, he went over the mirror located at the west corner of the room and looked at himself. A man with yellow eyes looked straight at him. A man with stubble to match the color of his hair. A man with knowing wolfish eyes. A man, whom Perrin knows, she could never come to love. Perrin is not ugly, oh no, he's far from being ugly. A lot of people told him that he's a pretty young man, she told him he's pretty, once.

 

Shaking his head, he went to the bed and started removing his traveling clothes, letting himself into his small clothes. Night is slowly coming and sleep is calling him. Dreams - wolf dreams - are calling him, enticing him. And in response, Perrin closed his eyes and readied himself to dream the wolf dream again. His last thoughts before darkness consumed him were all about the Aes Sedai - the reason he's in the tower - Moiraine Damodred.

 

 

 

 

--------------------------------

 

 

 

 

"Siuan, drop it. I don't want to talk about that young man," Moiraine said for the hundredth time since Siuan tried prying secrets from her. They are the best of friends - even pillowfriends - but she finds it very uncomfortable for her part to talk about the young man who had just arrived, demanding, asking if he could talk to her.

 

"You are evading the topic like a fisherman avoiding a school of silverpike Moiraine. What's wrong? Surely, Perrin Aybara - even though he's ta'veren - wouldn't make you feel as if you're still a sixteen year old village girl seeing a young lord for the first time," Siuan answered back with a slight nasty grin etched on her face.

 

"Maybe, just maybe, Moiraine really feels like that Siuan everytime Perrin's around. Even I felt that way when I saw him at Shienar, and being Aes Sedai prevented me from kissing him," Leane said.

 

At the last comment of Leane, Moiraine rounded at her as if unable to totally grasp the meaning of the words Leane had just said. Leane who had been so prim, so decent since she had known her, how could she say those words?! It's revolting for Moiraine to hear it. Being Cairhienin, she's known as someone modest and her ears are not up to what Leane are saying. As if being able to read her mind, Leane laughed.

 

"I am just kidding you Moiraine. What do these Andoran Lords usually say? 'Pulling your leg'? You don't have to be so protective of your beloved wolf. I won't take him away from you. Besides, I am not into men with shoulders like his. They're big but not overly big. But still not my type," Leane said, giving Moiraine a friendly smile and a wink.

 

"You just miss Logain Leane. You keep on telling Moiraine that this Perrin Aybara is her wolf. Her cub. What about Logain? Have you forgotten him? You know, you should try Min's suggestion of practicing kissing Logain for once. I heard he's got a taste for Domani women. He likes them bloody tall and flaming willowy. Come to think of it, it sounds exactly like you!" Siuan annoyingly but chidingly said to Leane.

 

"Feels the same way with your Gareth Bryne I see. Siuan, Logain is not my type. And aside from that, I guess I could just settle for even five warders or more and if I -" Leane's words were cut off when Moiraine suddenly stood from where they are seated and headed for the door leading to the hallway.

 

"I guess I need to take a walk first Siuan, Leane. I need to clear my fuzzy mind about matters concerning him. Thank you for joking with me as if we're still Accepted dreaming of handsome princes who could accept us the way we are. You're lucky Siuan, you have Gareth with you. You're blessed Leane for having that type of attitude towards men - though I don't know if I could or should envy you for that. Light! I don't even know what I should feel. I guess I better go now," Moiraine said while heading for the door, when suddenly she was caught by surprise at what she saw.

 

"Name the Dark One, and you'll have him, faster than you can blink," Siuan suddenly said when she saw what caused Moiraine's shock.

 

"Excuse us," Leane said as she and Siuan headed for the door, giving the intruder a curt nod.

 

"We'll talk to you later Moiraine," Siuan said before totally following Leane down the hallway.

 

The intruder followed the two Aes Sedai walking down the hallway until they turned left at the first corner. That's the only time the intruder fixed his attention to Moiraine. Looking intently at her. Making her feel as if she's being weighed to the ounce and measured to the inch by the way the man looks at her.

 

"What do you need?" Moraine said after a minute or so.

 

"Moiraine Sedai. I . . ." the intruder tried to speak but no other words came out.

 

"Hold. It is rude to let a guest stand in front of one's room. Come in, and enjoy my solitary moment with me, Lord Perrin Aybara of the Two Rivers," Moiraine interrupted Perrin, and without waiting for a response, headed to the table's four high back chairs which - not so long ago - was occupied by her friends, Siuan and Leane.

 

"Moiraine Sedai, I just want to see you even just for a little while, I just want to smell that rose scented and womanly scent of yours. So distinct and so specific for me to be able to identify it even though you're a hundred leagues away from me," Perrin said while inhaling the rose scent he could smell from Moiraine.

 

"Thank you for being so . . . vulgar about what you feel - rather - what you smell," Moiraine said feeling her heart skip a beat.

 

She had been so engrossed with what she's doing, fixing the table she and her friends had used that she didn't notice that Perrin was just a few inches away from her that when she turned around, she felt Perrin's broad and strong chest and washboard stomach. She heard a grunt when she unintentionally bumped into Perrin.

 

"Ugh! Moiraine, I'm sorry I didn't mean to . . . " whatever Perrin's about to say was lost into nothingness when he saw Moiraine's dark beautiful eyes. It's as if he's being pushed into those dark pools of her, enticing him, calling him, making him forget everything else but her. As if unaware of what he is doing, he just found himself touching Moiraine's left cheek, caressing it as if it's the last thing he wants to do. Moiraine's beautiful face is the only thing that he could see, Moiraine is the only one that matters to him.

 

"Perrin, no. It's alright. I'm fine, I just need to breathe, if you could move a little into that corner?" Moiraine said, pointing to the corner near her fireplace. After which, she walked straight to the other end of the room, looking at the rows of book about the Prophecies, Trolloc Wars, War of the Hundred Years and a lot more. She made herself look as if she's busy looking through these rows of books but actually she's just trying to calm herself.

 

Perrin is just a man! She cannot allow him to overcome every defense she had built around herself. She - Moraine Damodred - is an Aes Sedai, a woman who can face any adversity with the utmost and perfect calm. She is a lady born in Cairhien, a lady who can school her expressions and her feelings even in her sleep. She had always shown cunning, cleverness, and wit especially in times when Rand needed it the most, when finding the Dragon Reborn had been more than what an average Aes Sedai could do. And now this?! She knows in herself that she is made of a harder steel than this. But why?! Why?! How?! How could this simple man turn her world upside down?! Perrin Aybara is the last man on earth she could possibly fall in love with!

 

Fall in love with? That's absurd. She can't fall in love with him. Not with this man, or for any man on that matter. She would only cause him pain. She would only hurt herself if she will allow this feeling to overpower her will to think. Perrin is a good man, and much that it hurts her, she knows he deserves someone better. Not her, not an Aes Sedai.

 

"I heard what you said back there," Perrin suddeny said which made Moiraine looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

"As far as I know, I said a lot of things back there," Moiraine answered, stressing the last two words she just said.

 

"The thing about you being Accepted before and dreaming that you would find a handsome prince who could love you despite what you can do, regardless of who you are," Perrin said, looking at nothing but the fire burning in the fireplace.

 

"You heard that?" Moiraine said, trying to buy time. Buy time? For what? I don't know. She just have the feeling that she should.

 

Standing tall and sure, Perrin looked at her. Didn't she ever notice how tall Perrin is? How manly he is, how sure he carries himself. And at the same time, how gentle those eyes of his look at her? She had never remembered Perrin looking at her as if she's an Aes Sedai. No. He never looked at her like that. Never. Moiraine had a feeling that deep within her, she knows that Perrin sees her as a woman - a woman capable of loving him if that woman would only allow him to have that chance.

 

No! I could not let this feeling have the satisfaction it yearns! I cannot.

 

"Yes, I did. And Moiraine . . . I just wanted you to know that I love you. I do," Perrin said.

 

"No. You don't Perrin. You can't possibly fall in love with me. That's not how it should be," Moiraine said.

 

"The wheel wheels as the wheel wills. Isn't that how you should say it? Isn't that how you put whatever unwanted events come your way? Moiraine. I love you and I had never felt this way before. I had tried, a hundred times over, to fall with someone else, and for a time I did. Faile had made me forget you the way you wanted me too. I had ran away from what the pattern wanted me to do. I ran away from you. But even Faile cannot make me forget you. It's always you, it had always been you. Moiraine. Please, listen to what I say and hear it for what its worth," Perrin pleadingly said to Moiraine while he slowly encircles her tiny waist in her strong arms.

 

"I love you Moiraine," Perrin said almost in a whisper.

 

"I . . . Perrin, I love . . . no, please. Let go of me Perrin or else -" Moraine said.

 

"Or else what?" Perrin said, looking at the dark pools of her eyes, holding her tighter, pulling her towards him, making him feel her more and more. "Or else what? I dare you Moiraine Sedai ."

 

...

 

TBC (To Be Continued)

[Sam 19]

 

I've always had a soft spot for Perrin/Moiraine

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

"What Moiraine Sedai? What are you going to do with me? Are you going to run away again this time? Are you going to leave me alone, thinking why you can't - no matter how hard I try - reciprocate whatever feelings I have for you?" Perrin whispered in Moiraine's ear while he slowly pulled her nearer to him. He could almost feel the heat coming from Moiraine's body. He could almost hear the beat of her heart. This near to her, Perrin could sense the emotion hiding from the deepest core of Moiraine's soul. Fear. This perfect embodiment of Aes Sedai serenity is not accustomed to fear. That much he knows. And much as he hated it, much as it sounds selfish, he cannot stop himself from letting her know what he feels. The 'running away from what's meant to be' is long gone. He - Perrin Aybara - is ready to do whatever it takes just to have Moiraine. He would.

 

"Perrin . . . please? Let go of me . . . I cannot. It is wrong for you to think that this is what the pattern had planned for you, had planned for me," Moiraine said while trying to gently free herself from that compelling embrace that makes her weak.

 

"Moiraine? Please?" Perrin pleaded.

 

"No Perrin. Listen. It's not what it seems. We cannot be together. I am an Aes Sedai, a woman who could channel. And no matter how much you convince yourself that you can love and understand an Aes Sedai at the end you will just come to realize that what we are, how we see life, and how we decide our lives should be would be too much for you. And I'm -"

 

"-scared to fall in love with a simple blacksmith? Is that it Moiraine Sedai?" Perrin butted in, "Do you think that just because I am a blacksmith I cannot understand you - a lady and an Aes Sedai - and love you when in fact I do? Without you in my life I feel as if I am as bad as a Soulless, maybe worst - a life without meaning! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be out of the Two Rivers. I wouldn't be doing all those foolish things people think are heroic! If not for you, maybe, my life would've been simple, if not for you -"

 

"If not for me, none of those catastrophic things would happen to you. Maybe you're a settled man now with a family. With a wife who would love you and grow old with you. Perrin I know that. Maybe, if I had known from the very beginning that Rand is the Dragon Reborn then I wouldn't have blundered and destroyed that beautiful type of life you could have had! A life an Aes Sedai can never share with a man! A life which -"

 

"A life which would've been something I would never ask to have if not shared with you - not in a thousand lifetimes Moiraine. Never," Perrin said, placing a deft finger in Moiraine's dainty lips - asking her to stop and listen to what he's got to say, "And if not for you, I would never know what love really means Moiraine. It's not just a bunch or a mixture of tangled emotions that one could easily be done with. It's more than that. I tried to stop this feeling Moiraine because I fear for what would happen if I would really fall for you. A lifetime of misery, maybe, or a lifetime of war - battling for what my Moiraine Sedai wishes to fight for - but I thought . . . to hell with that! That type of fear could just rot in the pit of doom for all I care! I'd rather face a lifetime of war than live a senseless life without you. Do you hear me? Do you even understand Moiraine?"

 

Slowly removing Perrin's strong arms encircling her small waist with a sigh. She walked towards the couch placed in front of the fireplace and took a seat without offering Perrin one of the other cushions. She cannot believe that men are really fools to push what they believe is right. But she thought better of him. Thinking that he would somehow see sense. But he just would not.

 

"Twenty years," Moiraine suddenly said.

 

"What?" Perrin asked.

 

"Twenty years. That's how wide our age gap is. Twenty, long years. I could be as old as your mother, but because of my long use of the One Power, my age seems to slow down. Thus, making me appear younger than what my real age is," Moiraine said in a voice that reminds Perrin of silver bells.

 

"And?" Perrin asked, trying to pry for more.

 

"And then, here comes a young man, twenty years younger than me, asking me to love him. Asking me if I love him as well. A young man who - if without the One Power flowing through my veins - could pass out for my own son. Tell me, how could you fall for an Aes Sedai twenty years older than you?" Moiraine asked Perrin, making him feel a sharp, cold edge in the way she said it.

 

"How could you possibly avoid it?" Perrin asked her back without trying to give her an answer.

 

"I asked first therefore, you should answer me first," Moiraine said, "But don't expect me to give you an answer you would like to hear."

 

"I seem to forget what the question is Moiraine Sedai," Perrin said, trying to sound nasty at the same time.

 

"How could you fall for an Aes Sedai twenty years older than you?" Moiraine mechanically said as if she's deep in thought.

 

Walking towards her, and sitting beside her on her couch, Perrin also stared at the burning logs in the fireplace, burning logs that make his eyes glow and turn yellow more than the usual - leaving an impression of burnished gold.

 

"How? How could I fall for an Aes Sedai? I always asked that myself. I just have a simple answer Moiraine Sedai. I fell in love with you because . . . I just did," Perrin said, as if he's being swallowed up by the dancing flames and bouncing shadows caused by those movements of the flames.

 

Moiraine was lost for words. She don't know what to say. Light! She no longer knows how to react about what Perrin just said. All she knows is that this young blacksmith-turned into a lord is making her feel like a young village girl 'seeing a lord for the first time'. Light Siuan. What would you do? If you are in my position? What?

 

"Moiraine," Perrin said, making Moiraine look at him. He slowly searched her face for any sign of emotion, any mark that would let him feel that this woman sitting beside him - facing him - loves him too. He tried to catch a sense of her emotions in the air. Hoping that he could somehow determine what's the real score between the two of them. But Moiraine's beautiful eyes are drowning him and making his mind go cloudy he could no longer think properly.

 

Why? Moiraine, why? Light! We could grow old together. I could follow you to the very end of this world. If I could I would give you the world. What do I see in your eyes Moiraine? Why can't you just take that mask off your face for once? Why can't you let me see what you feel? Why can't you let me know what's the real score between us? Us? Had there ever been an 'us' Moiraine? I could just make myself drown in those beautiful eyes of yours. Drown myself and never getting tired of it. If I could just kiss you . . .

 

"And now, I'm ranting like a mad man," Perrin whispered but not too soft since Moiraine heard.

 

"Maybe you are, Perrin," Moraine said, "And maybe -"

 

Whatever Moiraine is about to tell him was left unsaid for in that very moment, Perrin grabbed her face and gave her a sweet, lingering kiss. Passionate and exhilarating . No! Moraine! You must not let him do this. She knows she must stop him but instead of doing so, Moiraine just found herself grabbing the lapels of Perrin's coat - urging him to kiss her more. This close to Perrin, Moiraine had lost all of her admonitions about right and wrong. All she could make herself think is the fact that she's about to share something special with Perrin. She's only half aware of what she's doing - slowly opening the button of Perrin's clothes. She's only half aware that her hands are slowly traveling from Perrin's broad shoulders, down into his strong chest and slowly edging downward - towards Perrin's stomach - and almost down there when suddenly a knock brought them back to reality.

 

"Moraine Sedai?" a timid voice said from the opposite side of the door.

 

"Yes?" Moiraine answered, without removing her eyes from Perrin's face.

 

"This is Ophelia, a Novice? I was ordered by the Amyrlin Seat to ask you if you could meet her as soon as possible? Thank you."

 

"Yes, I will. I'll just have to finish something first. Thank you. And please tell Mother that I . . . I would be there as soon as I can."

 

Fading footsteps told Moiraine that the Novice had gone off to somewhere else. Letting out a sigh of relief, she smoothed herself, and faced Perrin.

 

"I . . . I should have . . ." Moiraine couldn't say anything else. She just found herself wanting to cry. She tried to put a reign on her emotions but that kiss of Perrin - driving her wild and making her forget if not for the Novice's arrival - prevented her from doing so. Instead, her eyes let a tear flow from both sides of her face.

 

"Light! Moiraine! You're scared. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to kiss you and to make you feel what I feel. Hush now Moiraine. Please? Please don't cry. I didn't mean to," Perrin cupped her face while trying to wipe her tears away at the same time.

 

"Just go Perrin, please? I want to be alone . . . for once. I want to remember who I am - an Aes Sedai. Please, don't deny me that," Moiraine said between her tears.

 

Slowly removing his own hands from Moiraine, Perrin stood and started to head for Moiraine's door. Giving her a last glance, he opened her door and before heading out, he said, "I will give you time Moiraine. We will talk again once you're done contemplating what to do with me. Yes, that's it, I guess. I'm sorry Moiraine, and I love you. Remember. There will be no one else but you."

 

With a sound click of Moiraine's door. Perrin made his way towards the City of Tar Valon, away from the Tower grounds. If he intends to make Moiraine think, then, he needs to be away. He doesn't want to cause her too much pain. Light! I already brought pain to her being. Didn't I? Walking a little bit faster, Perrin intends to spend the night in some inn, away from her, even just for this night - but not too far that he won't be able to listen to what's happening in the tower.

 

 

 

...

 

TBC

Edited February 13, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Kaitlin 22]

Cougar Moiraine! I kinda love that she could be that way, even though Cairhienin propriety makes it difficult for her to express those feelings.

 

I like that Perrin let her alone to sort things out. It's such a Perrin thing to do.

 

And welcome to mw!

Edited February 9, 2011 by ~Romanda~

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

A knock on the door woke Mat up. He tried to let the intruder - whoever he is - to get tired of knocking on his door. You will bloody get tired knocking if there's no flaming answer for you. Two minutes passed and still the person standing outside his door keeps on knocking. Pissed off, Mat stood, grabbed a shirt - and with a grimace - opened his door.

 

"What's the bloody wrong with you?! Waking me up in the middle of my sleep? You could -" Matrim stopped short when he saw who the intruder was, "Perrin. You're here. What made you visit me huh? It's so flaming unusual for you to visit me here. I thought you're staying in Tar Valon for a little while?"

 

"Yes, I am," Perrin answered.

 

"Then why are you here? Did those bloody Aes Sedai using that One Power put you off?" Matrim asked, then added with a mischievous grin, "Maybe those Greens chased you to the very ends of the earth, eh? I heard they love men with shoulders and gentle ways. Sounds like Perrin to me?"

 

"No. I tried talking to Moiraine and -' Perrin started talking but then he was cut short by Mat.

 

"Wait! Did you say Moiraine? What did she do to you again? The Last Battle is over, we won, and we are trying to continue with our lives now. With my life now. And then you're bloody visiting me just to flaming tell me you visited Moiraine?" Mat asked.

 

"Well, for one I sai-" Perrin tried butting in but Mat cut him short again.

 

"Hush! Wait, wait me at the common room downstairs. The Innkeeper has a private place where we can talk in silence. Tell me I'm your friend and he'll show you the way. Wait for me there while I wear a nice garb first." Mat said.

 

"Alright. But tell me, why are you here? Why are you not in a decent land and act like the Prince of the Ravens Mat? Did Tuon smack your bottom again for being a bad toy?" Perrin said with a small smile.

 

Grimacing at what he just heard, Mat answered, "Not that, I'm not used living in luxury. I prefer this. And Tuon is nice - sweet. But wait! You better go down and I'll fix myself first."

 

With that, Mat closed the door of his room to fix himself leaving Perrin alone, staring at Mat's room. Shaking his head and smiling, Perrin headed downstairs and asked for the Innkeeper - Master Udan was his name - and showed him the private room where he and Mat could possibly talk.

 

Entering the room, he took a seat in front of the fireplace and stared at the burning logs. Staring at it, Perrin could not help but remember what happened between him and Moiraine that night in her chamber at the tower. How passionate she had been and how it made him yearn for more. What he did was wrong, kissing her just like that was wrong - improper and uncouth. What he did was something he had never thought he will be capable of doing. But then, a man tends to change especially if the woman he likes is around. And I just don't like her. I love her. And I guess that makes the matter of restraining myself difficult for me to do.

 

On the other hand, being a man in love is not an excuse for what he did to Moiraine, kissing her just like that. He made her cry because of that kiss. Burn you Perrin for being a fool. He should have exercised a sense of control - he is capable of that - he had always been able to control himself and prevent himself from doing rush decisions that could put his life at stake. Slow but sure - that had always been his way. But something else came over him, making him forget what's proper and what's not. I'm lucky I wasn't chased out of her chamber, out of the tower, or even out of her life. With a grimace, Perrin remembered what happened after that. Events that caused him to take a gateway going to Falme and talk to someone he knew - Mat.

 

It's been what? Five days since that incident that made the wall dividing him and Moiraine to grow taller, thicker - and if possible - wider. Every time he meets her in the corridor lining the four corners of the practice yard, Moiraine always sees to it that she's being accompanied by her friends or even some Aes Sedai. The worst of them are her friends - especially Leane. Teasing him, making him blush and burn like he's being dried under the sun, and even making nasty comments about his beard - although not directly to him, but to Moiraine.

 

"You know what Moiraine? Men with beards would give you kisses that tickle," Leane said one time while passing through the same hallway leading to the corridors of the practice yard, giving him a curt nod and a knowing smile.

 

Blushing, he intends to turn around but caught Moiraine's eye. Moiraine's expression was - well - blank. Perfect Aes Sedai serenity etched in her face with nothing to give her away but a curt nod. But nevertheless, he was still caught by those dark, mesmerizing eyes of Moiraine - making him rooted to the very spot where they met - making him feel thousands of emotions directed at only one person, one woman - Moiraine.

 

"I'm asking you again Perrin the way I did before when I first met you at Shienar," Leane said, edging nearer to him - a woman almost as tall as most men, almost as tall as he is - and added, "Where were you when I was sixteen, or even thirty?"

 

"What Leane Sedai? Sorry b-but I . . ." Perrin stummered while trying to think of a respectful answer to give when suddenly he heard Moiraine's voice.

 

"Let Lord Perrin Aybara go Leane. Let's leave him in peace. We need to attend to the Amyrlin and discuss with her what to do to the war that's plaguing Tear now. Siuan and the others are waiting," Moiraine said to Leane, after which she turned her attention to Perrin with that cold Aes Sedai serenity, "May the Light always shine on you Lord Perrin of the Two Rivers. Good day."

 

"May Light shine on you too Moiraine Sedai. And to you too Leane Sedai." Perrin added the last bit after a second interval.

 

"Thank you Lord Perrin, but I think that it's for Moiraine Sedai. But thanks for the care," Leane said walking behind Moiraine who had started walking ahead not even waiting for his reply.

 

"One more thing Lord Perrin. You look prettier without that furry thing in your face. They say, Cairhienin love their silverware clean and dust free, if you know what I mean," Leane said - a little bold and loud - making the scullery maids, and other servants stop and look dumbfounded, like him. But he understood. But still, it doesn't make sense at all.

 

After that, he wasn't able to talk to Moiraine for three days straight. It's either she's with someone - and he noticed that since the last encounter she seems to be in a bigger group making it impossible for him to talk to her - or she's too far to call her attention. Glimpses are all he could get now. Glimpses of her, working her way towards the civil war that's wrecking Tear. Glimpses of her that only make him yearn for her more and more each day, glimpses that make him frustrated and growl like a rabid wolf.

 

"Uh, Perrin? Are you alright?" A voice said from behind. A voice that startled him.

 

I'm being reckless. He thought. He should really get a grip of himself if he plans to get a control over things the way he used to.

 

"I didn't hear you come in," Perrin muttered looking at Mat.

 

"How could you? You're bloody looking at the fireplace as if you intend to burn down the whole place. Perrin, are you alright?" Mat asked, peering at his friend's face as if he could tell what's wrong with Perrin.

 

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Perrin said trying to look somewhere else but the fire.

 

"Oh, you bloody well should Perrin. I don't want calling the attentions of the Aes Sedai in here. I have a bunch of them before, to last me a lifetime. I have. So you better be certain that you are well or I'll thump you with my pipe until you reach Malkier! And we'll see what Nynaeve bloody Sedai would do to you," Mat said, sitting beside Perrin, pouring wine.

 

"Thump me and you'll get the rough side of Nynaeve Mat. And I thought you're done with Aes Sedai business?" Perrin said, looking sideways at Mat. He smiled when he saw the indignant look in Mat's face.

 

"Oh, well. She's Nynaeve after all. An Emond Fielder an-" Mat said but Perrin butted in.

 

"And a queen of Malkier, and an Aes Sedai to her very core - not to mention powerful Mat. She's Nynaeve, but she's changed. Everyone does. Rand, Egwene, you, and even me. We can never call ourselves just plain Emond Fielders. No Mat, we're more than that now. But then . . . no matter how much we change, we're still the same," Perrin said, looking at Mat's bewildered face he asked, "Do you get what I mean? We're changed but we're still the same. Was it even possible Mat?"

 

"Burn me for a fool if I know Perrin," Mat answered while offering him a cup.

 

Silence. Nothing passed between the two of them. Perrin thought the silence would stretch to eternity when suddenly Mat spoke.

 

"You should go ask Moiraine. I bet she'll know the answer," Mat said, but looking at his friend he added, "Oh yes, I remember, you already tried. You tried but then . . ."

 

Perrin just looked at him with a forced smile - a smile that one could see in a man dreading a death sentence.

 

" . . . do you have any plans of telling me why you used the word 'tried' back there?" Mat said, pouring himself another wine.

 

Sighing, Perrin answered, "I love her Mat."

 

"You love Moiraine? Oh well, Thom used to say Moiraine is a beautiful woman with a head on her shoulders. She is pretty but I like women dark skinned and -"

 

As if hearing what Perrin just said for the first time, Mat grabbed Perrin's left arm with his right hand and stared at Perrin wide-eyed. "You what?! Are you out of your bloody mind Perrin?! Did I hear it right?! You love Moiraine?! For the love of Light! Why?! You're killing yourself! No you're not - YOU ARE walking straight to the headman's axe, falling in love with an Aes Sedai. I thought Rand and Lan are the only fools to fall in love with Aes Sedai. I never thought you also are a fool." Shaking his head in disbelief, Mat only looked at Perrin.

 

With a growl Perrin stood up. He tried to calm himself but the emotions he'd been holding on seem to burst anytime now and he needs to blurt it all out or else he'll explode.

 

"Yes! You heard it right Matrim! I am in love with her! And I didn't ask for it! I never asked for it! I know what it entails to fall for someone like her, especially to her. I know she would always put important things ahead instead of her own, she had always been like that. She forgets herself just so she could reach her causes and goals. I tried to make her see before that life is not just suffering and sacrificing one's happiness for the whole bloody race of humans. But she won't listen. All she does is push me away from her! She's Aes Sedai, I know. But what can I do? I am just a man Matrim, a man like you! I am a fool of a man to fall for her, just like Rand and Lan when they decided to settle down with women who can channel. If I could, I would run away from her again. But I know it is futile. I can no longer run Matrim. I can't. Because every time I try, it's as if I'm running at one place without getting anywhere. I ran and ran but at the end of every line I always see myself going back to where I had started in the first place - to her. I love her Mat, and I will love no other," Perrin, exhasuted, finally took a seat and closed his eyes - rubbing his temples as if he had just gotten a headache.

 

"And who was the bloody general that told me Gawyn is a fool full of passion? Onions." Mat said shaking his head. Looking at Perrin's confused look he added, "I heard Gareth Bryne telling Gawyn how passionate he is in everything he does that he forgets he's in love with a woman of the world. An Aes Sedai - Egwene. He's so passionate that he had forgotten that the woman he loves is no ordinary village girl who dreams of a happy ending. He had forgotten that Egwene - being an Aes Sedai doesn't only needs a man who would give her the world if need be but a man who could be her partner, who would understand her every actions without her having the need to explain. A woman of power doesn't need a potato Perrin. She needs a man of onions - a man with many layers. A man who could see her as who she is and what she is but still loves her like any other woman. It's difficult, but that's how bloody demanding women are. Especially if they hold some power - no matter how little."

 

Perrin smiled, Mat's right, and he had changed. He had been certain from the very beginning that Mat knows a lot more than him. He and Rand know things Perrin doesn't know when it comes to women.

 

"I see," Perrin said straightening himself up, "Marriage suits you. You had always been made for marriage Mat."

 

"I don't. I fumbled and made a fool of myself before. I made myself such a bloody fool, that I almost believed every word Nynaeve and Egwene used to tell us - of how foolish men are, how thickheaded we are. I pushed myself to Tuon, I demanded her to become something she's not. I tried making her forget that she's an empress for once. I tried, but she told me that a woman of power doesn't need a man who couldn't see her as who she is and what she is, and that she doesn't also needs a man who doesn't love her. It took me a little while to see what she means. But I see it now clearly. What a woman like her needs, is a real man. Someone who could stand up to her and for her, a man who could learn to ask questions at the right place and at the right time. Someone who would think twice. A man who could love her and at the same time love what she does. That's a real man Perrin. Are you like that? Do you make her feel like that?"

 

"I guess so," Perrin said carefully.

 

"You guess. You should make sure that she does Perrin. For if you don't, why, you will bloody fall to the pit of doom without being able to tell her that you're bloody going to be the one for her. I remember what my da used to say. A woman doesn't only need actions. She doesn't only need words. The two - words and actions - should always go together. We are fools Son, but don't be overly fool at that. Remember. You understand?" Mat said, standing and straightening his clothes as if he's getting ready for a dance.

 

"Thank you Mat. That is much appreciated," Perrin said, offering his hand for a shake.

 

"You're welcome Perrin, don't make it sound as if I'm another man. I'm still the same man, although somewhat different with this patch on my eye." Mat said with a laugh, "Is there anything else you need?"

 

"No. No. I'd be leaving soon. I'll be going back to Tar Valon and I will talk to her one last time. And maybe, just maybe, everything will be fine." Perrin said, trying to convince himself about what he just said to Mat.

 

Nodding, Mat said, "Yeah, you do that Perrin. Good luck."

 

Tapping Perrin's back, Mat added with a smile, "Hey, you should feel proud and confident. The Prince of Luck had just bloody blessed you!"

 

"Burn you!" Perrin answered back with a laugh. Light! He haven't laugh for a long time. It's really good to see Mat and he said so.

 

"And it's good to see you too Perrin. It's like being home again," Mat said with a smile.

 

"I'd go now." Perrin said.

 

"You mean now? Why?" Mat said. Curious.

 

"Time is precious Mat, every time, the Pattern weaves us into something else. I need to see her and talk to her. I can feel that this is the right time Mat." Perrin answered.

 

"I see," Mat said, then added hastily when Perrin is near the door, "Oh! About you asking why I am here in Falme instead of Seandar - well, I was sent here by Tuon. I need to secure Falme, I need to be sure they wouldn't be joining Ilian in helping the High Lords of Tear in securing the Stone. And at the same time, I need to be here if summons from Tar Valon comes - asking for help in soothing the anger of the Tairens to the High Lord."

 

"I see. That's good. We cannot afford another war - even though it's just civil war - we had been through a lot of things. Had you talked with Rand?" Perrin asked.

 

"He knows I am here. And they are planning to stop the war for the Stone in Tear. Who would've thought that we're still going to be at War with one another after Tarmon bloody Gaidon? I would be going to him, soon. Tomorrow night if I'm lucky." Mat answered.

 

"Well then, I'll see what I can do. After our talk. The Two Rivers will be standing ready for Tear," Perrin said, and with a nod he left Mat and headed straight to the station where the Kin are being placed to provide a Gateway for him back to Tar Valon.

 

 

...

 

TBC

Edited February 9, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

At the Traveling station where gateways are being maneuvered and directed by the Kin, Perrin could see a lot of comings and goings. Tens of light opening in midair to show a tall gateway enough for a man and a horse to enter flash from time to time. Looking at these lights makes his eyes look like lamps burning in a dark hallway. Scanning the whole place, he searched for one of the members of the Kin who could assist him in going back to Tar Valon.

 

Walking on parched ground caused by constant used of gateways and caused by travelers. Perrin looked from side to side checking for an available slot. While doing so, a thought occurred to him. Falme had been under the Seanchan rule for two years - if memory serves him right - before Tarmon Gaidon ended. Before the Last Battle ended - and before it even officially started - the Empress, Tuon, ordered all women who can channel to be leashed. And they had secured Falme for themselves. That had gone on for months. But now, a change had happened. The Seanchan had decided to pull back. And instead of conquering every country in the whole continent including Tar Valon, they had decided to turn back and become an ally of the whole continent.

 

Damane and Marath'damane, women who can channel, women who were condemned because they can channel. Women used as weapons to kill and destroy. Shaking his head, he reminded himself that it was over and done with. Everybody is trying to start anew. After the Last Battle, people are willing to start all over again. Times do change, they had feared that at the end of the Last Battle another Breaking of the World would start again. But then, the pattern and time itself proved them wrong. Wars would always bring casualties, that's why at the end of every war people are always given a chance to start all over again. And that is what every country in the whole world is doing right now.

 

Peace is reigning in Falme now. The Empire of the Seanchan had decided to put an end to their preposterous tradition. Like what Tuon said - times of change are coming anew, we cannot make ourselves stay with the old; we need to move forward in tune with the Pattern, in line with the fast pacing of time itself - she's right on that part.

 

No wonder, Mat had been taken into her by her cunning and understanding of what she should do. A very smart woman. And pretty if not too dark for my taste. Small too like Moiraine. But not as pretty as her.

 

Looking ahead of her she noticed a woman, an old woman, somewhat in her sixties - knitting. Walking straight towards her, Perrin spoke, "Excuse mistress, I would like to go to Tar Valon if you will allow me passage."

 

Looking at him, the old woman placed her knitting materials beside her and without any words or questions asked, she wove a gateway.

 

He's about to step towards the other side of the gateway when suddenly the old woman asked, "What you be doing in Tar Valon? A lot of young men with strong arms do be going towards Tear to help fix the civil war there."

 

"I need to talk to an Aes Sedai there," was all Perrin said.

 

"Oh! You do be a young man who wants to ask an Aes Sedai her bond and become a warder. I remember when I was still a novice, of how I dreamed of bonding a young man as my warder. The old days." Smiling, the old woman waved and after a moment, the gateway winked out leaving Perrin staring at the huge gate of Tar Valon. With a deep breath, he started his way towards the tower.

 

 

 

 

-----------------------------------

 

 

 

Moiraine had been pacing her room since the moment she, Siuan, and Leane had entered it. And for the hundredth time, Siuan wanted to hold Moiraine still so that the woman would stop her relentless pacing which is driving Siuan mad.

 

Burn that bloody Perrin, leaving without us noticing him doing so. And burn Moiraine for loosing her control on the matter again. Siuan thought, shaking her head. Since the moment Moiraine had known what Perrin feels about her she had been acting weird. She fidgets and lose control every time things went out of hand - things that concern Perrin.

 

And now that Perrin could not be found along the tower grounds and even in the city, Moiraine started to worry herself endlessly. After refusing to meet Perrin, after hiding from Perrin for almost ten days, Moiraine is pacing and losing her sense just because the man bloody went somewhere else? Bloody feeling.

 

"One more look at you makes me think that you're about to do something funny with all your grimacing Siuan." Leane said. Looking sideways at Siuan and smiling. Leane seems to smile these past few days.

 

"So, have you bonded Logain? Or even kissed him?" Siuan said without even glancing at Leane thus, failing to see the widening of Leane's eyes.

 

"Siuan, where exactly are you getting at?" Leane asked, with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Nothing, it's just a question." Siuan said.

 

"A question or is it a confirmation?" Leane said somewhat briskly.

 

"Whatever you want to think is appropriate." Siuan said with a slight twist in her mouth as if controlling herself to smile and added, "I noticed you smiling whenever you're looking somewhere south. I never thought Tear holds a special place in your heart?"

 

Leane didn't say a word at that. The three oaths keep a tight hold on her. Siuan knows the real score for Leane and Tear. That place - even though Siuan was born there - had never been special for Leane. It's just a country. Silence was all there is for Leane doesn't seem to answer back thus Siuan pressed on her advantage.

 

"Tear is being wrecked by civil war now and as far as I know Rand had asked the other Asha'man to help the helpless there. A very bold thing to suggest and give as a service. And as far as I know, Logain is the one leading the group of Asha'man going there. I wonder if he's having a nice time with tavern girls down at the Maule. I hear Asha'mans have a good appetite when it comes to wo-" Siuan was talking when suddenly Leane stood and faced her with arms crossed.

 

"What are you trying to say Siuan? What are you trying to suggest? And why are we suddenly talking about Logain here?" Leane asked.

 

"I was talking to you, yes. I even asked you a question which you didn't bother to answer. Thus, I decided to make comments. And if you would want to put it in the way you are suggesting - I was talking to myself." Siuan said.

 

"Oh! Shut up, both of you." Moiraine suddenly said. Peering through her window, looking - Siuan bet - for Perrin.

 

"You would know if he's back Moiraine. A novice would inform you, right? So stop that bloody pacing there or else I'll have you gut some silverpike!" Siuan said, and since the three oaths keeps her from lying, Moiraine knows she's telling the truth. Siuan is manipulative - that's a fact - but she never threatens someone, she just state the facts.

 

Taking a seat, she noticed Leane's smile again, and despite her agitation Moiraine asked, "There goes that smile again Leane. Why do you keep on smiling and smiling like a village girl wooing for her man?"

 

Shocked, Leane tried to compose herself but too late, her friends had seen her smile. And Siuan, being such a nasty friend asked her, "Tell me Leane, did you or did you not bond Logain before he left the tower?"

 

Shocked, Moiraine tried to hide it. Looking at the mirror behind Leane and Siuan, checked her features and when she was sure that Aes Sedai serenity is the only thing that anybody could see - turned her attention to Leane.

 

At that very moment, Leane seem to admit that she had bonded Logain, when suddenly a knock sounded. Looking at her friends, she stood, walked towards the door and opened it. Seeing Mia - a novice with promising ability and strength - she smiled.

 

"Child, what do you need?" Moiraine asked although she had a feeling that her long wait would be over. In a few seconds the novice would be telling her that her Perrin had arrived already. Her Perrin? No matter, she needs to hear the news.

 

Giving Moiraine a proper curtsy, Ophelia said, "Moiraine Sedai, I was told by Silvianna Sedai to go to you and ask you to give me a chore as punishment." The last two words almost came out as a whisper.

 

Dismayed for not being able to hear what she wanted to hear, she gave the novice her chore of going to the kitchen to scrub pots for the whole day tomorrow. Giving her a curtsy, the novice turned her attention to Leane and Siuan, saying, "Leane Sedai, Siuan Sedai, the mother wished your presence. Thank you" With that, the novice gave them one last curtsy and headed down the hallway.

 

"That novice seems to curtsy too much. I wonder, do we curtsy that much when we were novices and accepted?" Siuan said, already beside her, her blue gaze following the novice.

 

"Maybe. Who knows? We're too young and too scared of the Aes Sedai before," Leane answered.

 

"Paah! Me? Scared? I had never been scared. I wasn't even scared off by Me-" Siuan coughed. The oaths wouldn't let her lie.

 

Smiling, Moiraine said, "Admit it Siuan, every trainee and Aes Sedai of the tower is and was - once in their lives - afraid of Aes Sedai when the shawl was still a dream for them. And you, my loving friend, was no exception." With a soft touch on Siuan's left cheek, she smiled again.

 

"Well, you are right on that part Moiraine, and you had always been sweet." Siuan said with a smile too, touching Moiraine's right cheek as well.

 

Rounding on Leane, Siuan asked, "And you Leane, you haven't answered my question yet. Did you or did you not bond Logain Ab-"

 

"Later Siuan. You had been nagging me about that as if you haven't been raised as a sister twenty years ago. Later, I'll tell you both," Leane, with her left hand stopping Siuan midway on her sentence, said.

 

"Oh well, we better get going then. The Amyrlin should never be allowed to wait. Moiraine?" Siuan said with a nod after which she gave her kiss on the cheek, and then Leane. She watched them head down the stairs at the end of the hallway of their Ajah.

 

 

 

 

 

-------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, down at the tower grounds, Perrin is looking up expectantly at Moiraine's window. He cannot control himself, knowing that Moiraine is just a few stairs away from him. Excitement boils his blood like a flaming fire boils water. Taking the first step on the grand staircase Perrin braced himself as he took that first step toward his beloved.

 

 

...

 

TBC

Edited February 9, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Marie 73]

Arg! Cliffhanger.

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

Arg! Cliffhanger.

 

 

What? What? What did I do?

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc.

 

"It's already six quarter and no news of that wool-headed man." Moiraine said with a very annoyed expression. How long does Perrin intend to go somewhere else? How long will it take her to wait just so she could see the man and talk to him. How could he possibly go somewhere else? How could he tell me that he'll give me time to think things through but once I'm ready I would just find out that he had gone somewhere else - to the Light knows where?!

 

Moiraine Damodred is a noblewoman and an Aes Sedai. She has the reputation of having everything that an Aes Sedai should have in order to be called one - serenity, power, and brilliance. Growing up with her Uncle Laman, knowing the secrets of Daes Dae'mar, and being able to play it even in her sleep made her almost a legendary Aes Sedai - not to mention finishing Lanfear by throwing herself as well into that blasted ter'angreal. A legendary Aes Sedai indeed.

 

She had always been sure of everything she does, from the very little things. It may not look like her but she's a very calculating woman. She always make sure that she can anticipate every possible outcome of almost everything she put her attention into, and years of being an Aes Sedai made her a master of the art of thinking fast yet sure. For twenty years of being an Aes Sedai, Moiraine had never allowed anything to surprise her and break her tremendous wall of serenity. Never. Until Perrin came into the picture.

 

Shaking her head when she realized that she had brought herself into thinking about that man again, she decided to go somewhere else. And make that wool-headed blacksmith's hair turn into white because of looking for me when he returns. We'll see how he'll take things through. With a little smile on her lips, Moiraine slid off her room and headed down to the tower grounds and out on the open courtyard to make a gateway. Once I reach the courtyard I will decide where to go. Somewhere he wouldn't know of. But where? Tear? No, no, definitely not there. He would know that he needs to go there just to look for me. But where should I go?

 

Moiraine had been thinking about where to go when she saw a tapestry of the continent's map. Looking at it, she spotted a place which made her smile. Mountains of Mist. Yes, that's the perfect place. She would go at the foot of the Mountains of Mist and head straight to the little stream where Perrin taught her how to fish by just using her hands. With a smile, she touched the part of the tapestry where the Mountains were located, when suddenly she heard a voice that almost made her heart jump.

 

"Moiraine? What are you looking at?" the owner of the voice was a tall man with a good pair of shoulders. By the looks of the man, he had just cleaned himself and he's wearing a clean set of clothes but his boots are somewhat dusty - because of walking by foot. Looking at the man's face, Moiraine's heart skipped another beat. The man's face was smooth and clean-shaven which made his feature - the thin gentle lips, the beautiful nose and the angular face - noticeable. A handsome man. A handsome man with very unusual pair of eyes - yellow eyes that turn to gold when light touches them. Perrin's eyes.

 

Composing herself and controlling the surge of emotions trying to escape into the open, she spoke, "So, you're back? About time already. You've been gone for so long and you never even left any message for anybody."

 

"Do I need to? I don't have to leave messages every time I leave the tower Moiraine Sedai. There's no one to leave a message for but you." Perrin said, and added hastily when he saw Moiraine's calm face and beautiful eyes looking at him, "But I know you don't need it so. . ."

 

Perrin left it unfinished and just shrugged. He doesn't need to explain to a woman who doesn't look like she cares whether he dies or grow sprouts all over his ears. Besides, she really doesn't care for if she does, she would free him from this agony. But then, she's Aes Sedai. And who really understand Aes Sedai? No one - no man.

 

Perrin had been so engrossed with these thoughts that he didn't notice Moiraine moving towards him as if she intends to look at his eyes. Feeling uncomfortable, he shifted and tried to speak but then words seem foreign to him at that very moment. He could smell Moiraine's familiar scent - a scent that only she possessed; a smell that never failed to cloud his mind.

 

"Y-yes?" Perrin said in a hoarse voice.

 

Smiling, Moiraine moved back but she never removed her eyes on Perrin.

 

"Would you like to go with me? I plan to go somewhere." Moiraine said. She had changed the topic very suddenly that Perrin looked somewhat abashed and confused.

 

"Go where? The Mountains of Mist? What could you possibly see there Moiraine? Nothing but trees, brumbles, shrubs. Do you plan to go hunting?" Perrin said with a smile. His tone was filled with amusement when he continued, "An Aes Sedai? Hunting some rabbits? In the dark? That's absurd."

 

"If you want to come with me then just say so. I don't have time to answer your questions, and honestly, even if I could - I won't." Moiraine said in a calm voice, and she started to head straight to the courtyard. It's good to know that my voice didn't show any sign of annoyance. I am starting to get really angry Perrin - don't push me or I'll thump you until you drop! I will; not with Saidar but with my own hands!

 

"No, no. I'm coming alright? No need to give me the cold-shoulders Moiraine." Perrin said, following her.

 

"Good." She answered, and she concentrated on her goal - to reach the Mountains of Mist and maybe talk to him and clear the things between them. If the Light is willing. A few minutes had passed and soon they had reached the courtyard. There are no men, Aes Sedai, Novices, Accepted, or even servants running around this time. The courtyard is deserted and the two of them are the only people there. Breathing and at the same time embracing Saidar, Moiraine started to channel.

 

 

------------------------------------------

 

Seeing the Mountains of Mist after a very long time, memories start to stir in Perrin's mind. He still remembered how they had stayed for weeks and weeks during Winter because of Rand and the things they had went through during those weeks. Things which - after Tarmon Gaidon - seem trifle. He remembered how Rand had left them there and headed straight to the Heart of Stone in Tear to wield Callandor. He remembered how they had chased him from sunup to sundown. Him, Lan, Loial and Moiraine stopping for just a little while to rest and eat whatever is available during those times. A lot of things had happened from then on. He started noticing Moiraine as a woman, and then he had the feeling that making her know what he feels for her wouldn't make things easier but instead - worst; and he tried to stop.

 

In constraining himself he met Faile. Now Faile is a different woman - he had loved her but then she died and left him alone again. A year after Faile's death, the feelings he have for Moiraine - buried deep in his soul and left untouched - started to resurface once more. He told himself that it is unfair for Faile to just forget her and try moving on but then he thought, it would be more unfair to himself if he wouldn't let himself be happy with what he could possibly have - Moiraine.

 

"We're here." Moiraine's voice brought Perrin back to reality. Looking around he noticed a stream flowing. Walking into it - wetting the whole length of his boots and up to almost his knee without any care - he saw trouts. Smiling, Perrin looked around. He knows this place. This is the place where he first taught Moiraine to fish without using anything but her hands. She had shown talent in fishing with bare hands despite the fact that it was supposed to be her first time. With a rueful shake of his head, he reminded himself that Moiraine had used the One Power to catch those big trouts.

 

A smell of burning logs made Perrin look behind him. Moiraine was already seated with one of the huge smooth rocks and in front of her is a fire she, herself had readied. Walking towards her, he took a seat next to the Moiraine's.

 

"You're wet." Moiraine said, giving him a sidelong look.

 

"What? Oh this?" Perrin said, touching his boots, "it's nothing."

 

"Nothing?" shaking her head, Moiraine continued, "Why do men have the habit of saying 'nothing' when in fact it is obvious that you mean something else. I saw you, you looked at something there."

 

Scratching his cheek - it's weird having no beard for once - and tried giving Moiraine a grin, he looked at the fire and drew a deep breath.

 

"It's really nothing Moiraine. I just remembered the time we followed Rand." And Perrin started talking about how he taught her to catch some fish, after which he asked, "You remember, don't you?"

 

"Yes, I do." Moiraine said. Perrin noticed that Moiraine had a smile on her lips, as if she's happy that Perrin made her remember. As if an answer to that, Moiraine added, "It's a good thing you remembered it."

 

"How could I possibly forget that? It was the first time I had taught you something you don't know. It was the first time I imparted something to you. It's the first time I gave a part of me to you," Perrin said, shifting his position so he could look straight at Moiraine, he added, "Tell me, how could I forget something as good as that Moiraine? Tell me."

 

"Perrin . . ." Moiraine said, looking at nothing else but Perrin's eyes. She knows that what Perrin feels is genuine. She could see it in his eyes. And with that knowledge comes her fear that someday Perrin would wake up from this beautiful dream, leaving her alone.

 

Perrin didn't answer. He just looked at Moiraine with all the intensity he could master, showing her his love, hoping that she could see it.

 

As if unable to control herself any longer, Moiraine decided to let her feelings come into to the open. The world will be damned but she need Perrin to know what she feels. Letting go of all inhibitions, Moiraine touched Perrin's face.

 

"Do you know why we're here?" Moiraine asked.

 

"Why?" Perrin asked, never taking his eyes off Moiraine.

 

"Because I want to put an end to this." Moiraine answered simply.

 

"Wh- what do you mean?" Perrin said, his golden eyes widening in shock.

 

Moiraine smiled, cupped Perrin's face in her hands, and asked, "Why do you love me Perrin? How did you make yourself love an Aes Sedai - me?"

 

Confused but still willing to wait until the woman in front of her say what he had been waiting to hear for so long, he hold Moiraine's hands and answered, "I don't know the how and the why of me loving you Moiraine. I just do. I don't need any reason another reason of why I should love you. The fact that I love you is reason enough for me."

 

Laughing, Moiraine said, "You had always been so easy to read Perrin. Among you three; Rand, Mat and you, I had always been sure of what you'll do. Remember when Rand left us here to wield Callandor? I know you would go, I know what your answer will be."

 

"You say I had always been easy to read, and that you know what my answer will be. Then why do you still ask?" Perrin said, shaking his head but smiling at the same time.

 

Moiraine gave him a smile and she removed her hands from his face. She just shifted her position making her face the fire she made and kept her silence. After a few seconds, she spoke.

 

"Because I just wanted to have a reason to talk to you. Even just a small reason."

 

"Reason? You always have that reason Moiraine. You brought me out of the Two Rivers. A countryman who knows nothing of the world. You could always have the reason by teaching me the things I should know about. Before." Perrin said, scratching a part of his chin where his beard used to be.

 

"I cannot allow myself to teach you that much Perrin." Moiraine said in a whisper without even removing her eyes from the fire.

 

"Why?" Perrin asked, but when Moiraine is about to speak up, he stopped her short.

 

"Oh no. Don't tell me, I know now. You cannot allow yourself to teach me because in doing so you would forget that Rand needs more guidance than I do - being the Dragon Reborn. And teaching me would only be a waste of time since I am not him. And I know, you know that I could learn by myself. And lastly you have more important things to do than teach a blacksmith." Perrin said with a slight jealousy evident on his voice, "But then that blacksmith is now a young lord. And still, it made little difference." Perrin almost whispered.

 

Shaking her head and at the same time laughing softly, Moiraine faced Perrin again and looked straight at his eyes.

 

"I cannot allow myself because of myself." Moiraine said plainly and with a light touch of laughter on her voice.

 

"There you go again Moiraine, don't give me -" Perrin said.

 

"Aes Sedai answers?" Moiraine butted in.

 

"Yes." Perrin answered in a clipped tone and as if getting annoyed for no reason at all, he roughly shook his head.

 

Grabbing his face to stop his rough attitude, she capped her hands on Perrin's face and looked straight into his eyes while saying, "I cannot allow myself to teach you more because I know that in doing so I will only attach myself more to you than with anyone else."

 

Looking confused, Perrin asked, "Wha-what do you mean?"

 

As if she's being pushed to her limits, she harshly moved Perrin's face near her own making their faces only an inch apart and said, "Now you stop playing games with me Lord Perrin Aybara or else I'll throw you in the stream."

 

"I'm not playing games with you Moiraine Sedai. I really don't know where you're goin -" Perrin said but he was stopped short not because he was thrown at the stream but because of what Moiraine said.

 

"I love you, you wool-headed man of a blacksmith."

 

 

 

...

 

 

TBC

Edited February 11, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Marie 73]

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[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

I love you, you wool-headed man of a blacksmith.

 

Perrin just sat there, unable to move, unable to comprehend. It is as if time stood still. He could not believe what he just heard. Light! He had waited for this for so long and now he finally heard it. He wanted to say a lot of things but he does not know where to start. He wanted to move his hands and touch the face of the woman sitting in front of him but his body cannot seem to react properly. Burn this woman! Why does she needs to say that all of a sudden?

 

"Perrin? Aren't you going to say something?" Moiraine said, somewhat expectantly.

 

As if not hearing anything, he just stared at Moiraine. The world will be damned all over again, and the Breaking will start all over again but he could not - no matter how hard he willed himself to - make himself react. He just stared and stared like a crazy and stupid lout. What should I say? How should I react? Blood and bloody ashes! I had rehearsed and readied myself for this but I cannot MAKE MYSELF DO IT! Burn you Perrin! Move your hands! As if the force of will he's pushing to make himself move and react appropriately made him - at long last - move his hands. He moved his hands - not towards Moiraine but to his temple and scratched it, after which, he just continued to stare. Moiraine, expecting an answer - a decent reaction - suddenly had a change in her expression. A frown started to crease her forehead - a sign that she's already losing patience.

 

"Do you intend to stare at me like you're someone stupid the whole time? Aren't you going to say or do something?" Moiraine asked Perrin, annoyance is trailing her words.

 

Nothing. Moiraine cannot see any reaction from Perrin. She waited and waited but nothing came. This is not how she expected Perrin's reaction would be. Happiness, elation, jovial reaction but not this - blank. Is Perrin not happy that she loves him too? Isn't that what he had waited for so long? Then why this? She had not miscalculated it all, does she? Is Perrin being overwhelmed of her becoming an Aes Sedai? Was that the reason why he suddenly left? Frustration and fear are slowly creeping into her heart - fear that he would say no to her. This is what she had feared far more than what could possibly happen once they found the Dragon Reborn. She tried to let people see how strong she could be despite the reputation that entails because of her being a Damodred and an Aes Sedai at the same time. She had let people face the mask she had placed there for twenty years and now she had removed that mask, and made herself bare in front of Perrin. She did that without question, without second thoughts despite the fact that she feared for herself. She had come to love this man sitting in front of her so much that she had decided to conquer that fear, thinking that he won't leave her alone. But now, that fear is starting to creep in into her system. Unable to control herself, she removed her hands away from Perrin and walked towards the stream.

 

She wanted to hurt herself for being such a fool. Why couldn't you use your head even just now Moiraine?! Why does your mind needs to fail this time out of all times that it could?! Burn you for a fool woman! You're an Aes Sedai! And Aes Sedai never made themselves fools for just a man! As if that is enough, she remembered what Vandene had told her once.

 

"Moiraine, have you ever been in love with a man?" Vandene asked her.

 

"I don't have time for that. Besides, I am not of the Green Ajah Vandene." Moiraine answered.

 

"Greens are not the only one who has the right to notice a man - much more fall in love with them." Vandene retorted. "Aes Sedai are women. Being Aes Sedai doesn't make us any different from those other women who fall in love. What made you think that it is the other way around? Even Aes Sedai have the right to love - being one of us doesn't and should not rob you of the right to love. Keep that in mind."

 

"You're wrong Vandene. You're wrong. Not every Aes Sedai could find a man she can truly love. Or if she ever does . . . " Moiraine whispered more to herself than to the deceased Aes Sedai as her tears fell down to her cheeks.

 

Burn you Perrin for making me feel so small! Burn you!

 

She had been cursing the man so much she had been shocked when suddenly Perrin encircled his arms on her small waist. The moon was so beautiful that night, so bright and so mysterious that she could see her reflection being this close to the stream. When she looked at her and Perrin's reflection she almost gasped - almost, Aes Sedai serenity kept her from making a fool of herself more than what's necessary - because of what she saw.

 

Perrin's head was bowed down to hide his face but there's no mistaking what's trailing down the man's cheeks. Tears! The silly man was crying! She was so elated, and shocked by what she saw that she couldn't move. She was taken aback despite of her Aes Sedai serenity that all she feels for this man is love and the urge to reach out her hands to him and wipe those tears of his away.

 

I'm being silly, thinking of wiping his tears away when I am crying as well.

 

"Mo . . . Moiraine." Perrin murmured in her right ear. A murmur that brings chill and a burning sensation to her whole body.

 

"Y-yes?" Burn it! She's so nervous that she couldn't help but stutter. This man is really driving her out of her wits. She's just hoping that this man couldn't feel or even hear the rapid beating of her heart - which she doubts. Perrin has the sharpest eyes and the keenest ears she had ever met.

 

"Please, say it again." Perrin murmured in her ear.

 

"Say what?" Moiraine said, trying to clear her mind. This close to Perrin was the closest she had ever been to this man and she had never thought that it could possibly be this good at all.

 

"That you love me. Please I want to hear it again." Perrin murmured while he slowly removed his arms around her and gently making her face him.

 

Touching Perrin's cheeks, wiping his tears away, Moiraine smiled and said, "I love you Perrin Aybara, Lord of the Two Rivers. I love you and your gentle ways. I love you and your uncouth way of getting what you want from me. I love you and your rough retorts about what I do. Light! I love you - all of you."

 

"And I love you too Moiraine. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I will never get tired from loving you. After everything we've been through - after being in different companies - I still love loving you. And nothing, not even the pattern, could ever change that. Nothing." Perrin said, wiping the tears from Moiraine's eyes that started to fall again when he started saying he loves her.

 

Hugging the man, Moiraine buried herself in Perrin's chest, while Perrin hugged her back. They had been in this position for quiet a while when Moiraine became aware of the sudden change in the way Perrin touched her - intimately. Gently breaking the hug, Moiraine looked at Perrin.

 

Looking at his eyes, Moiraine could really drown. Who had said that those gentle, loving, yellow eyes of this man were caused by the Dark One himself? Who ever said that this man - because of his unusual eyes - was a darkfriend? No darkfriend could ever emit such a gentle, tender, and loving countenance. As these thoughts pop in Moiraine's mind, she noticed that Perrin is slowly edging toward her face, and that her lips are just a few inches away from his now. Slowly, Moiraine closed her eyes as she let herself be kissed by Perrin.

 

As their lips touched, Moiraine felt something she had never felt before. A burning sensation that seems to consume her very soul. A sensation so strong she had just found herself groping for Perrin's shirt and removing it - ripping it off. How in the light did I manage to remove all his other clothings? It doesn't matter anymore. For once, she felt she needed Perrin the way she had never needed anyone, or loved anyone for that matter.

 

Breathing hard, Perrin let himself lose from Moiraine's kisses. He breathed deeply and looked at Moiraine's serious and sweet face. Her lips were plum-colored and velvety in the light emitted by the fire she made and under the moonlight. "There are reasons why we should wait Moiraine," he begun hoarsely, giving her one last chance to retreat. But his words were knocked out of him when Moiraine pressed her slim, little body against his, standing tiptoed to engulf himself on her own.

 

"Perrin, please? For once don't be a gentle man. For once, don't do the right thing." Moiraine whispered. He felt the gentle nip of Moiraine on his collarbone just before she whispered sweetly, "I dare you."

 

 

 

...

 

 

TBC

Edited February 13, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Jaime Jai'melar 1]

The few memories Moiraine had with Siuan and her other lovers were soon dispelled the way the morning light removes the fog in the early hours of every day as she was consumed by the deliberate fire of Perrin's caresses and kisses. He undressed both of them leisurely, pausing from time to time to posses her lips with sweet kisses. When he finally removed the last bit of clothes that covered them both, she pressed herself against his body with a sigh of relief. His skin was warm and smooth, his chest covered with thick dark brown hair tickled her breasts. She could feel the strong upthrust of his member against her belly - making her blush crimson. She touched it cautiously, still very much a novice in the art of lovemaking with men.

 

At the clasp of her fingers, Perrin's heavy shaft moved as if it had a will of its own. Moiraine's breath stopped and she gasped. "Oh."

 

Perrin's laughter was thick with desire. "Don't be scared." He hold Moiraine's finger and guided her to the head of the shaft. "That is the most sensitive part."

 

She stroked and played with it for a little while until the slit gave off an exudate making his skin slippery. With a moan, Perrin caught her wrist with a gentle grasp. "Enough Moiraine." he said huskily.

 

"Why? I want to -"

 

"Because I'm about to lose my self-control with what you're doing." Perrin whispered.

 

"That was my intention." She said, and he laughed.

 

"No. I intend to do this my way. And I want to make it last a very long time." Perrin whispered to her ear as he slowly placed her near the fire, where he had placed his coat - making her lay down in it. Perrin settled beside her, more than six feet of hard, powerful and strong male. She tried raising her head but he gently pushed her back down and bent down over her, his hot breath fanning her round breasts. The tip of his tongue touched her nipple, making her gasp and grasp his shoulders, straining upward in supplication and utter surrender. He nibbled, played, and sucked lightly at her hardening peak, then moved to the other thus, making her writhe in pleasure underneath him.

 

"Um . . . Perrin . . . uh..." she said desperately

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Please . . . I need . . . uh . . . more . . . more" She felt his skilled hands and fingers descend to her stomach, and unable to control herself, lifted her hips in an arch.

 

Looking at her with his passion-bright yellow eyes, he smiled with satisfaction when he saw her flushed cheeks. He started to descend his fingers more, toward the soft curls covering her, finding and touching the feminine crest that yearns for him so sweetly. As if to tease Moiraine, the touch became only fleeting.

 

"Oh. Perrin, please don't stop, please - "

 

"Hush! Relax, I want something else Moiraine. Trust me, alright?" He slid himself much lower than her breast, trailing kisses along the way until his strong shoulders lodged between her thighs.

 

Moiraine felt Perrin's lips descend to the innermost part of her thigh. She could feel Perrin's fingers opening her up, tasting her, touching the delicate peak in between. Her whole restraint collapsed, and she moaned under the darkness of the night. Oh Light! He is licking me, in long sinuous laps! Oh Light!. As her body quiver with desperate excitement she moaned. And just as she's about to reach it, Perrin stopped, lifted his head and levered his body over hers.

 

"Light!" Moiraine whispered, left suspended on the brink of pleasure. "Please, please -"

 

As if that's all he'd been waiting, Perrin entered her with a deep and sure thrust of his hips. Moiraine cried out as her body tried to cope with the gentle but relentless intrusion of Perrin's shaft. She was totally filled and she feels like she cannot take any more. Strong-willed, she tried to accommodate him, but it seemed impossible.

 

His lips brushed over hers, as a tear slowly slid down her face, and whispered. "Easy, my love. I won't hurt you. Alright?" He tried to divert her while he slowly pressed forward in a slow but sure thrusts, his every movement, careful and gentle. Each thrust of Perrin brought a moan of pleasure from her. She tried holding the sounds, but she just can't. Suddenly, he was all the way inside her, full and deep, thrusting every inch of his shaft.

 

He slowly withdrew the end of his shaft, then submerged the entire length of it in a slow pace, his chest hair teasing her breasts - adding to the extreme pleasure she's feeling, his flat washboard stomach brushing over hers. She moaned and pushed herself into his long, pleasuring thrusts, until she begged, "Please don't be gentle Perrin. Don't, don't, do it harder -"

 

His mouth covered hers, making her cries muffled. Her body shook with violent spasms, making her muscles grip Perrin's hard shaft until he let out a groan and seized her with both hands, making his thrusts faster and more passionate. Being enveloped in Perrin's arms and being under Perrin's power, she felt a wave of sensation roll over her and she moaned and shivered as she reached the peak making her release an unmeasurable amount of pleasure as she climaxed.

 

After a long time, Perrin moved onto his side, making sure he wouldn't crush Moiraine. Embracing him, Moiraine smiled. "Perrin . . ." she whispered. "I want to tell you something. Perhaps you won't believe me but by the Three Oaths I took, it is true."

 

"Yes?"

 

"I could never do it."

 

"Do what Moiraine?"

 

"Run away and break your heart."

 

"You do?" Perrin asked, with a smile.

 

"Yes, I cannot. I tried to push you the other way. But I cannot let myself be far from you. I cannot make myself tell you that you should go wherever you want. I cannot. Until Faile came to the picture."

 

Easing himself up, and looking straight at his Aes Sedai, he asked. "Faile? What about Faile?"

 

"With her, I came to realized that you could be happy at long last. It pained me to think about it that way, but I tried to get a gripped of myself. But then, she annoyed me. You annoyed me. Both of you."

 

"That's why you won't look at me without giving me that cold angry stare of yours back at the Snow Goose. Was that it?" Perrin asked, with a boyish smile.

 

Nodding, Moiraine blushed.

 

"You were jealous?" Perrin asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

 

Silence.

 

"You are. Admit it Moiraine." Perrin said with a slight laugh.

 

"Yes I was." Moiraine said with a slight raising of her left brow. "Do you find it inconvenient Perrin Aybara?"

 

"No, not at all. It's just that. When you said it, I remembered something."

 

"What?" Moiraine asked.

 

"It worked." Perrin answered with a very wide smile.

 

"What worked?" Moiraine said, eyes becoming slit. "You tell me Perrin Aybara or I'll thump your head until you begged me for mercy."

 

"I tried to get you jealous. And you got jealous." Perrin said.

 

"You!" Moiraine thumped him while Perrin laughed out loud and heartily while - at the same time - trying to block Moiraine's assault at him.

 

Catching both her arms, Perrin gently lowered Moiraine's hands and eased her towards himself.

 

"I love you Moiraine Damodred. And I intend to grow old with you."

 

Smiling and trying to stifle her giggles, Moiraine answered. "And I intend to see you grow old and all white. I love you too Perrin Aybara. And I intend to never let you go either - if that's what you're about to say."

 

"Um . . . is that so?" Perrin said, touching Moiraine's face. "Will you marry me, Moiraine?"

 

"What?" Moiraine asked, looking at nothing but Perrin.

 

Cupping her face, Perrin took a deep breath, looked straight at her eyes and asked her again, "I said, will you marry me Moiraine Damodred? Would you please be the mother of my children?"

 

"I . . ." Moiraine had tears on her eyes again. Light! I had never been this emotional since I left for Tar Valon to become a Novice. Light!

 

"Moiraine, don't cry. Please?" Perrin said while wiping away the tears from her eyes.

 

"I will marry you Perrin Aybara. Light! I will." Moiraine said between tears, pulling Perrin in a loving embrace.

 

"I love you Moiraine."

 

"I love you too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And There you have it. Everlasting love. - Swan Princess

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Damn. This is not how I envisioned this to be Well, it's a good thing I was able to put a decent end on this one. I hope you'll have a great time reading my work. I have a feeling the ending was somewhat lame. Tsk!

Sorry for the wrong usage of English. I'm not that good with it.

 

p.p.s.

 

Oh in this story, Leane bonded Logain. I forgot to mention it - stupid me. But then, you know Siuan. She's a very keen observer and when she noticed something, she won't let the trail go until she's sure; and she never let out subtle hints - subtle but true - unless she's sure as the sun rising at dawn.

Edited February 18, 2011 by Jaime Jai'melar

[Erika 4]

I thought it was very good! I hope you decided to try other Moiraine fictions!