So what'd you think?

[Iris 0]

So did anyone actually finish reading the mini-series? Love to hear about it

[Marie 73]

Yes...

 

 

However, I take forever to actually make a post that isn't "lol" "omg like dude seriously" or a random picture.

 

So, at least you know I finished it. You'll just have to wait a bit for me to make a worthy post.

[Iris 0]

no problem.

[Marie 73]

First and foremost, I have to give you props for doing a fic that long; I know I couldn't and I can't recall the last time I read such an in-depth one.

 

I did enjoy how their emotions and thoughts mirrored each other, although the quick jumping between point of views was at times a little jarring.

 

It also felt a touch repetitive at points: toward the end I felt a little overwhelmed with all the descriptions of Moiraine's dark tresses. Also, even though perhaps a more realistic way of portraying it, Lan's continued ignorance on what could be bothering Moiraine made me want to smack him. I'd probably just tone the "she hates me!" stuff down a bit.

 

Which brings me to another stickler for me: Aes Sedai can mask the bond so those, uh, sexual feelings from down below aren't shared. Obviously Lan wouldn't have this benefit (I'm pretty sure only channelers can do it? Someone correct me if wrong), but if Moiraine didn't want Lan to know she was wanting some sex, well, she could make sure he didn't know. As well she wouldn't need to feel him having sex. That of course would take a bit away from what you are going for, so I would suggest a simple explanation of why such a thing wouldn't work: Maybe Moiraine tries but hasn't mastered the art of it yet?

 

I didn't really follow the logic of why her writs had to remain bound on the horse ride back, in fact I forgot she was still bound until they dismounted.

 

I think in general just a little bit more fine tuning to get rid of any moments the reader stops and goes "but couldn't they just do x, y, z?" would help absorb them into the story better.

 

Overall it was nice to read a Moiraine/Lan fic!

[Kaitlin 22]

I finished this too. It's so good to read fic from pre-EotW. I always thought that the time period from NS to the first book had a lot of untapped potential. It seems like you could do a lot of interesting developing of characters. So, I liked that this was the in-between them.

 

Lan calling Moiraine an "honorable woman" and promising not to look at her naked just yet is so Lan. I was confused by his characterization in the beginning, though I didn't really get into in the first comments because I was waiting to see where you went with him. He seems a little off-character when he's temperamental with Moiraine early on and I thought it could be explained by his not having a firm grasp on what emotions are his and what are Moiraine's but I didn't see anything more about that so I have to guess that's not where you were going with it. It is not a big deal but he is also not blonde. He's got dark hair! But not a big deal... it's nice how you have him noticing the smells of Moiraine... err, her rosewater I mean! He seems like a person who'd sniff.

 

Moiraine is really herself when she's petty and argumentative with him. I laughed! A couple of the things about her and the One Power could be cleared up with just some reworking of the details and I think your story would be just the same and not have a reader wondering why she couldn't have used the OP on Lan when he was holding her arms (or just to hold him down in the first place) or later on with the WC men when they were closer to attacking her. I also thought about how she did know how to fight to the death with that BA woman physically too... and I wondered why she didn't do more to fight back. Maybe when Lan was holding wrists in the beginning they could have been in a Stedding, or something like that so that the story stays the same but it clears up a few questions.

 

Also, you might want to put a sort of sexual violence trigger warning before sections like the WCs attacking her in the future. The "M" could have meant just some sex with Lan after getting rescued right away. It helps with some readers.

 

Moiraine was very sweet to wear Lan's hadori afterward. It didn't just seem like she wanted to keep her hair dry, but rather something more and I liked that you had that in there. I didn't know why they decided to keep her wrists bound either but it made me sort of intrigued about about what a consensual bondage fic might be like with them. Mwahaha

 

It was so nice to read a long fic, and to have you updating steadily like that! I feel spoiled because you gave so much to read.

[Iris 0]

wow, guys, i really appreciate all your feedback! i'm a bit newer to the series so i guess i havent fine-tuned all these power-related details as yet (or at least different possibilities slipped by me in the that regard).

 

as for the wrist thing it was because it would be easier for her to keep the cloak on and not fall off the horse. like if they both sat in the saddle normally the cloak would have been problematic. and i thought it was a nice set up for what was to come