Jump to content

Amalisa Amalisa


Recommended Posts

Amalisa sipped some blueberry tea and licked her lips seductively. Setting down her cup, she glided over towards Moiraine who was lounging on the bed.

 

"Oh, Moiraine. You are so pretty. I want to do things to you that will make Lan's ears turn red."

 

"I can mask the bond--"

 

"No. I want him to know."

 

"Well, all right."

 

And thus did Lan experience lesbian sex.

 

The End.

 

Bargain fulfilled.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

There seems to be a strong concept behind the story; unfortunately it suffers from lack of writing talent. Perhaps in more capable hands it could have prospered and shone and fulfilled its promise... but alas, it landed where it is now.

 

Do not take my words personally, but instead as stepping stone towards improvement.

 

May I make some suggestions? OK then. :(

 

Clearly you need more description. I recommend focusing on the Aes Sedai for dramatic purposes. And also less...bedroom... activities. But if you must speak of such things, I again recommend focusing on the ethereal Aes Sedai.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Welcome!

    Come join your fellow fanatics! :lol:

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.