Short oneshot

[Sivart Reborn 7]

I was in a semi-angsty mood so I wrote a semi-coherent fanfic. lol

No-converstation again, enjoy or hate. I'll take either comment.

 

 

 

Some Days

 

Some days it wasn't even worth getting out of bed. It wasn't like anything new was going on, it wasn't like anything was going to change, and it wasn't like he'd wake up with his dreams real. Only his nightmares. Maybe that sake wasn't a good idea that one night, but what choice was he really offered? The kids were off doing their high school kid things, but that didn't matter. They'd be fine without him for a day. Heck, they could probably take better care of themselves than he could if they had too. His deadline? Oh he could put it off another day. Three hundred pages of blandly obvious dreaming. They always ended happy. Why couldn't life be happy?

He wrote fiction for a reason. It benefitted him two ways, first, it let him use those hopeless dreams for a good purpose. Secondly, nobody else had any business in his real life, so writting nonfiction was rather pointless anyway. On a less notable account, it was good lying practice. Maybe it was his way of running. Who knew? Who honestly cared? Not the one he wanted too, so therefore as good as no one.

Some days were spent thinking of the past. As soon as the kids left for school he'd go down and help himself to leftovers. He wasn't picky, which saved him these days. It was utterly and completely monotonous, and probably more of a waste of life than he knew. Possibly unhealthy too. He could call his doctor, but that would result in a scolding and then the akward question. No, he could call the other, but where would that lead but to the doctor?

He supposed he might as well finish his assignment then. Not like he'd turn it in anyway. Type, type type, think, type. Such a single-scene that played for so long. Maybe he should write something different. A play? No. Let's just do this and get it over with. The silence became deafening. He again concluded that everytime he decided that he should actually worked an angel died. He took a nap afterwards.

Archtype nightmare. Never gets used to them though, too bad for humanity. His friend's ex, crying mostly because of him at the heart of things. That demoness. So many other little visions through his life that he was responsible for, so many little holes in the lives of his family and friends. Not entirely his fault, one could argue, but enough that he was responsible. He woke up fifteen minutes later. Felt like hours. Oh well.

Maybe he was running from his own fate. Some days were spent thinking about that. Maybe because of him, everyone was condemned to a lot more hardship. Quite possibly he was wasting his life. Then again, weren't they all? It wasn't like things were going to get easier as they went along, in fact it was quite the opposite. And if he got his way, things were going to get far worse before they got better.

Then again life was always this way for him whether he thought about it or not, he decided for the thousandth time at least. It was just the way he was. Just the way they were. Just the way it was. And he hated it. He hated it as much as he loved it. He wanted to crush it, and in doing so crush her. Maybe it was his own world of self-contentment he sought, but wasn't it best for all of them?

He deserved to be judged, all the time. Some days it was just more obvious than others. Some days it wasn't worth living. But he had to if he wanted a day worth living. Who would tell him he was wrong in the end? He could pick out a few, if it came to it. It'd be half-hearted, perhaps, but it was true and they'd trade it back if they could've, even if he wouldn't. Once, or if he got what he was after, he'd never let it go. Not that dream.

Some days he almost died. Some days he did, on the inside. Some days it was just the way it was. So many forced defaults in his life that made him miserable. Oh well. Someday he'd get it. Somehow he'd win. And when he did, it wouldn't matter who was hurt. He'd finally stop living with those 'some days.'

[Olivia 26]

Very angsty indeed, but not badly written. Nice work, Travis!

[Kaitlin 22]

Ah, Siv!

 

This was better than some of the past writings in a lot of ways! It gave me a sense of time spent.

[Sivart Reborn 7]

I think the next thing I write will be an original work though.

 

Thanks for comments! *cookies all around*

[Cerendrallion 32]

I liked it! Well done!

[AshSnow 0]

I like this a lot!

It was a story worth read.

I also felt I could connect with the character. Maybe because I think along those lines sometimes.