How I Want the Series to Go

[Iris 0]

So here is a goonie moment from me.

 

I'm going to tell you all how I'd like the series to go, and you can either nod your heads impressively at how excellent my foresight is or you can laugh into your teacups at how ridiculously wrong it is. And of course we will touch upon those things which none of us know yet. And lets add a dash of humor. So we're starting with Lord of Choas. These are just the main things I'd like to see go down from now till the end.

 

Lini: You can lead a horse to water and you can make it drink if it's really thirsty.

Morgase: Tallanvor, what was I thinking about always wanting older men? I want you now!

Tallanvor: Excellent, my Queen. Let's be lovers. Then we'll escape with the help of that random Andoran guy.

Pedron Niall: Darn it! Foiled Again!

 

Rand: Being in the Andoran Palace reminds me of Elayne. Why, hello, Min. Good day. Aes Sedai. Now I am just reminded of how much I like Min. *kiss*

 

Siuan: You can't fix it, fish brain!

Nynaeve: Yes I can!

Leane: Shut up, Siuan! Just let her try!

Moghedien: Let me tell you exactly what do in exchange for my freedom.

Nynaeve: You can just tell me what to do and if you don't I'll make you think you're being torn limb from limb.

Moghedien: *whimpers* *tells Nynaeve what to do to fix stilling*

Siuan: Light, I can embrace Saidar again!

Leane: Me too! Ah, the rapture.

 

Gareth: Siuan, clean my boots. Then come sit with me on the bed.

Siuan: I am an extremely powerful Aes Sedai again. *channels to prove it* But I am still madly in love with you. *kiss*

 

Leane: I need to bond as many warders as I can get my hands on.

 

Egwene: I will comb Elaida's study again using teleranrhiod.

*Salidar Council shows up*

Egwene: What are you doing here?

Aes Sedai: what are you doing here, child?

Egwene: Child? Who are you calling child? I can squash you like bugs using the one Power! Not to mention I have advanced knowledge of Elaida's goings about that you don't. And I've got some Aiel homegirls that can whoop on you.

*Amys and Bair appear, arms crossed*

Aes Sedai: shoooooot *vanish*

 

Lan: *cry* I miss Moiraine, my love. *sniffs* *continues riding to Myrelle*

 

Egwene: Aviendha, we must travel to Salidar and show those Aes Sedai whats up.

Aviendha: Good idea. We'll leave events in Andor to Rand.

 

Faile: Perrin! I am coming with you on all your travels you cannot leave me behind with these Two Rivers bumpkins!

 

Nynaeve: I miss Lan *sighs*

Elayne: I miss Rand *sighs*

 

Rand: Now that I have secured Andor I will move onto the next conquest.

 

Thom: *cry* I miss Moiraine, my love. *sniffs* *twirls knife to pass the time*

 

Rand: Egwene and Aviendha, I will come with you to Salidar. I will put these Aes Sedai under my thumb.

 

Myrelle: Lan, come to me my pretty Malkieri pet. *strokes Lan*

Lan: I am death walking.

 

Lan: Light, I see Nynaeve just out the window!

Myrelle: *locks door from outside with Lan inside*

Lan: I am death sitting here looking out the window.

 

Egwene, Rand, Aviendha, Maidens: We will now sieze power of Salidar for the Dragon.

Elayne: Rand! *kiss*

Egwene: I have discovered Lan locked in Myrelle's room. Myrelle, give the bond to Nynaeve now or face my wrath.

Myrelle: *whimpers*

Nynaeve and Lan: *kiss* Let's get married. *kiss*

 

Gawyn and Younglings: *escape from Elaida's cronies*

Egwene: *spies on Gawyn's dreams* I will find Gawyn and bond him. I'll be right back.

 

Mat: blood and bloody ashes! how did I end up with the Seanchan? Wow, that girl is hot! Excuse me, but what you happen to be the daugther of the nine moons?

Hot girl: Why, yes!

Mat: let's get hitched. *kiss*

 

Forsaken: we are scheming against one another. we are weakening each other by backstabbing.

 

Faile: Daddy! This is my husband Perrin!

Perrin: *gulps*

 

Osangar and Asangar: *kiss*

 

Egwene: Gawyn, I have found you. Let's bond.

Gawyn: Yes, let's. *kiss*

 

Elaida: I can't trust anybody! Listen to me, damn it! I'm the Amyrlin! Where are you going?!?! *ears smoking*

Elaida: *sleeping* Siuan Sanche?!? What the?!?!

Siuan: I'm gonna f--- you up, Red.

 

Egwene: I am now the Amyrlin. I support the Dragon Reborn. *pets Gawyn*

 

Rand: I am conquering lands left and right, yet I am starting to feel crazier every day. Not a good sign.

Elayne: Rand, I love you!

Aviendha: Me too!

Min: Me three!

Rand: At least I'll get some love before I go totally berserk.

 

Padan Fain: We are losing! Whitecloaks, work harder!

 

Lanfear: I live! I liiiiiiive!!! But why the heck am I so short?!?! *growls*

 

Moiraine: I am so sad. I am trapped in this awful Tower. I miss Lan. I dream of Thom. Oh, Thom, come and save, so I can marry you and be the most Powerful Aes Sedai ever. *twiddles thumbs idly*

 

Rand: Thom, this is a letter that Moiraine left for you before she died.

Thom: For me??? Oh Light!!! *rips open letter* Moiraine!!!! I'm coming!!!!!

 

Perrin: *travelling*

Faile: *travelling* *nagging*

 

Mat: Let's go back to the mainland and meet my friends. Now, this is Rand. He's the Dragon Reborn. He's a bit nutty now but we have to help him or we'll all die. And these are Elayne, Aviendha, and Min, his three wives, I think. And this is Nynaeve and her husband Lan. She has the hottest temper ever and the he has the dispostion of a rock so I guess they're a good couple. And this is Thom--

Thom: Mat!!! You have to come with me right now!!! We have to find out about the Tower of Ghenjei and about these SNakes and Foxes and--

Mat: Whoa there buddy, I have had enough snake people to last a lifetime.

Thom: But Mat, Moiraine is trapped there, and only you and I and someone who knows about Snakes and Foxes can bring her back! The world depends on it!

Mat: shoooooot. wait here, baby *kisses daughter of nine moons* i'll be right back. It's time to roll the dice!

 

Rand: I must kill more Forsaken.

Nynaeve: Me too!

Elayne: I will help!

Avi: Don't forget me.

Nynaeve: You know, I think they all keep coming back to life.

 

Cadsuane: I will show up and spank these children and teach them how to really fight. *cackles*

 

Elayne: Mommy!!

Morgase: Elayne!!

Elayne: I married Rand.

Morgase: At least you married him. Good girl. *pats Elayne*

 

Thom: We must find someone who knows what this Tower of Ghenjei is.

Mat: I don't know anyone.

Third Guy: Me neither.

Mat: Hey, that looks like Perrin. Perrin, over here!

Perrin: Mat, how are you?

Mat: Good, you? Who's the lady, hm?

Faile: I'm Perrin's owner. I mean, his wife.

Thom: Perrin, you've got those yellow eyes. Do you know what the Tower of Ghenjei is?

Perrin: WHy yes I do, would you like directions?

Thom: Yes!!!

Perrin: *gives directions to TofG*

Thom: I'm coming, Moiraine!!!

 

Third Guy: I guess I have to write something on the wall of the Tower to make the door appear.

Thom: The door!

Mat: blood and bloody ashes! I hate these snake people!

Snakes and Foxes: *dying*

Mat: ah! my eye!

Third Guy: I should've never done this.

Thom: Moiraine! my love!

Moiraine: Thom? Is it you?

Thom: *bangs door open* *scoops up Moiraine* *kiss*

 

Egwene: Everyone come to the White Tower and unite under me. Rand, you can have authority in addition to myself. Tarmon Gaidon approaches. *inspects arrivals* Where are Mat and Thom? Has Mat run off again to gamble again? And I know Thom was never big on Aes Sedai...

Thom: *bangs open door* *still carrying Moiraine*

 

Egwene: Moiraine??!

Rand: Moiraine!?

Elayne: Moiraine???!!

Avi: Moiraine!??!!

Min: Moiraine??!?

Siuan: Moiraine!!!

Nyaneve: *chokes*

Lan: *faints*

Moiraine: I am the most powerful Aes Sedai ever!! I have Lanfear's powers!! *thunder* *lightning* *tickles Thom* Let's get married now, Thom. I can't wait anymore.

Thom: Me neither.

Mat: can one of you Aes Sedai fix my bloody eye socket please?

 

Everyone who is good: We fight the Shadow!

Forsaken/Darkfriends: We fight back, but we are not as good!

Rand: I will cleanse Saidin! Saidin is cleansed! I will not go mad! Did anyone find out yet who killed Asmodean yet?

Moiraine: Rand cannot win the battle without me! I will deliver the winning blow on the battlefield while he goes head to head with Shaitan!

Rand: I have imprisoned the dark one and perhaps killed him once and for all!

Everyone who is good: We will all live happily ever after now with those we love! *kiss*

[Iris 0]

Lan: I am the king of Malkier.

Nynaeve: I am the Queen of Malkier.

Elayne: I am the Queen of Andor.

Rand: I am still the Dragon Reborn but am no longer mental. Elayne is my wife.

Min: I am mistress #1.

Avi: I am mistress #2.

Mat: I'm some sort of Seanchen Lord, but I prefer the mainland with my hot wife. *rolls dice*

Perrin: I'm still married to Faile and sort of regretting it.

Faile: I still have Perrin on a leash. Good wolf. *pets Perrin*

Siuan: I am married to Gareth. I love older men with facial hair.

Gareth: I am married to Siuan. I love extremely powerful women with blue eyes.

Thom: I am dashing despite my years and am madly in love with my wife Moiraine. I find her manipulative Cairhienin ways very attractive.

Moiraine: I am married to and am madly in love with Thom Merillin, who has the physique and stamina of who someone half his age. I love facial hair too.

 

Epilogue 12 years later:

Lan: I am still the King of Malkier.

Nynaeve: I will die an abrupt, untimely death.

Moiraine: I live happily with Thom on our estate.

Thom: I will die of old age.

Lan: I will find you, Moiraine.

 

Moiraine: Lan?

Lan: Moiraine.

Moiraine: Oh...dear.

Lan: Oh...my.

 

Rayan: Hello, mother.

Elnora: Hello, father.

Moiraine: Evil is afoot.

Lan: Oh dear.

Aiel Asha'man: Oh my.

Moiraine: Who are you?

Aiel Asha'man: You will find out.

Egwene the Amyrlin: So will I.

 

Rayan: I am now Asha'man.

Elnora: I am now Aes Sedai.

Moiraine: We must fight evil.

Evil Ones: You all must die!

 

Lan: Iris writes our plot.

Moiraine: You will do well.

Iris: Indeed, I will try.

[Tosh 8]

Lan: *cry* I miss Moiraine, my love. *sniffs* *continues riding Myrelle*

Fixed.

[Kaitlin 22]

Fixed.

 

That is entirely accurate.

 

You will just have to read, Olivia2! I will not say one way or the other... I do not give up secrets! *hums*

[Asmodean82 0]

*Blinks, laughs, Strums the harp and disappears!*

[Iris 0]

Fixed, as in a wolfhound that is spayed or neutered?

 

I do know that he won't up with Mo in the series (I'm not clueless) if that's what you mean Obviously he's totally hot for Nyna, not to mention Myrelle will probably get him in bed before that happens. It is her job to save him from killing himself. I'm guessing she doesn't have that rep for nuthin'.

 

But still I like to think that Lan will always love Moiraine. How could he not after being with her for all those years? I do believe the heart can harbor love for more than one at a time (Rand is the perfect example), although some loves overshadow others.

 

Or perhaps you're eluding to something entirely different in which case I have noooo idea.

[Brynefan 2]

Siuan: I am married to Gareth. I love older men with facial hair.

 

There's nothing in the books to say anything for (or against) facial hair. Where does everyone get this from? Just because Robert E Lee had a beard?

[Tosh 8]

I'd answer but I'd hate to spoil it for you. Feel encouraged to make up crazy theories though.

[Iris 0]

There's nothing in the books to say anything for (or against) facial hair. Where does everyone get this from? Just because Robert E Lee had a beard?

 

Really, it doesn't say that Gareth Bryne had facial hair? huh.

[Iris 0]

Tosh! Bloody what are you talking about? Mo and Lan are my fav pairing! Is he going to announce is undying hatred for her at some point? And then kill himself to save Nynaeve? Dah! I hate that I'm the only on here that doesn't know what's going on!

[Brynefan 2]

Well, he's a man so he probably has facial hair. The question is how much of it he shaves each day XD He has never been described as having a beard, though.

[Iris 0]

Some guys I guess you automatically imagine with facial hair and Gareth is one of them. Plus I can see Siuan being into that.

 

You guys are sitting on this forum right now giggling while this thread is driving me batty! *wound up* *speed reading LOC*

[Iris 0]

*refreshing*

[jan 14]

Obviously he's totally hot for Nyna, not to mention Myrelle will probably get him in bed before that happens. It is her job to save him from killing himself. I'm guessing she doesn't have that rep for nuthin'.

 

Okay, let's just say that, yes, Lan does get laid. By whom and when and how many times, you'll just have to find out.

 

You guys are sitting on this forum right now giggling while this thread is driving me batty! *wound up* *speed reading LOC*

 

Well, we have to get our entertainment somewhere. I, for one, have no life.

[Iris 0]

So it's more than just Myrelle and Nyna? Well, I mean he always did sleep with a lot of women quite easily even when he was with Mo, didn't he? That doesn't mean he still doesn't love Mo and Nyna....