Funny English :D

[Ishmael Moridin 0]

Just to recall some of the hilarious phrases I've heard or have been told about by friends. Some of these are from the lecteurers in colleges ...

 

"Why are you late ? Tell me yes or no ?"

 

"Take a copper wire of any length of 5cms"

 

"Fetch that flask of blue colourless soln."

 

"My aim in life is to study my sons and marry my daughters" (a literal translation from Kannada - my mother-tongue.)

 

These are the ones I actually heard in a classroom/lab

[Olivia 26]

Those are funny!

 

some silly phrase that always bugs me is: "You want to have your cake and eat it too." (meaning being indecisive and wanting everything). But what else would you do if you had a cake?! You wouldn't put it on a shelf or anything.

 

Also when people are ordering food or asking for a number of items they say "give me three or four" Well which is it?! Three or four?

[Ishmael Moridin 0]

A cake wouldn't last too long with me ... not long enough for such a contemplation

 

I've never observed this "3 or 4" but I think we all do it.

[Tosh 8]

"Do you have what we in sweden call a skruvmejsel?"

That ones a classic.

[jan 14]

I had a PT teacher who put his foot in it very often. He once told someone in our class to "open the windows and let the atmosphere in."

 

And also, "The samosas [a kind of Indian snack] are under construction!"

 

And the classic. "The principal just passed away." (He meant passed by!!!!!)

 

A direct translation from Hindi (national language, but NOT my mother-tongue, so don't blame me!): "He goes on his father!" [Translation: He takes after his father! ]

[Ekho 52]

Iv always thought some translations can be hilarious if taken literally...not that I can actually remember any though

[Ishmael Moridin 0]

"Do you have what we in sweden call a skruvmejsel?"

That ones a classic.

 

Nope, what are those ?

 

Some more gems, recounted to me by my friends :

 

"I have two daughters, both are girls"

 

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside the window while I am here" (He meant that we should be paying attention to his lecture)

[Olivia 26]

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside the window while I am here" (He meant that we should be paying attention to his lecture)

 

LOL that is truly a classic.

[Mea 0]

I've heard that some famous swedish guy once said "I'm a man who likes to have my balls in the air." He probably meant that he likes to do several things at the same time.

[Vertex 23]

*giggles* He probably meant "many balls in the air"

 

A college of my father once asked me and my oldest sis if we were our fathers children Guess bus drivers aren't too clever.

[jan 14]

A college of my father once asked me and my oldest sis if we were our fathers children Guess bus drivers aren't too clever.

 

*giggle* That was very rude of him!

 

@Ajit: Yeah, I've heard both! Oh, should we start a list of the cricket commentary bloopers, especially those by Sanjay Manjrekar (a former Indian cricketer turned commentator)?! Only, I can't think of any right now...

[Ishmael Moridin 0]

Hmm ... I can't recollect any from Sanjay, but he can say some silly things on air as well ... but Sidhu's(another Ex-criceter turned commentator turned politician) another one with some funny lines :

 

"Pitches(cricket) are like wives, you never know which way they turn."

"He hit the ball so high in the air, an airhostess could have caught it."

"He threw a drowning man both ends of the rope."

"Indian batsmen are like cycles parked in a cycle stand, push one and they all fall."

 

Etc.

[Olivia 26]

This isn't really related to the Enlgish language itself, but "What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is in the middle of the ocean? ... Bob"

[Fenix 0]

One of my teachers in a german class:

"Stop talking to each other, start a dialogue!

 

Meaning that we should speak to each other in German

[Ishmael Moridin 0]

I've heard the likes too, in my french class my teacher keeps saying I'll have to pay a fine for every word of english I speak. I am negotiating for a season pass